The following is the homily from Isaac and Rebecca Michayluk’s wedding.
The only thing I remember from the sermon at my wedding was when the priest said that we were a cross-cultural couple (my wife and I are from different countries). He told us we would develop our own traditions, for example, how we celebrate Christmas or how we would say grace. We were going to form our own family with our own values and vision. That is actually what it means to be “one flesh:” one flesh is one family unit
That priest pointed out that our key value was being Christians. We had decided to get married young and in the church because that was consistent with our faith. He said observed that this set us apart from our peers at that time like it does today for you.
Rebecca and Isaac, you are also a cross-cultural marriage. You have two equally beautiful and dignified cultures to celebrate and be proud of. Two of them. And a third one as well, which will be your own special hybrid. You have also invited God to come to your wedding. You have put him first You have asked for his blessing here in the Church.
It is common to give lots of advice in the wedding homily, but you will get plenty of that at the reception later. Apparently, you already got a bunch of marriage advice at the bridal shower, too. Some say, “Don’t go to bed angry.” I heard that one person said do go to bed angry because you don’t think straight when you’re tired.” I like that.
I’m not going to give you advice about when to go to bed or how much chocolate you should give her on Valentine’s Day because everyone has either done that or will do it later tonight. Plus, we spent several hours doing marriage prep. I think I know better than anyone how much work you have already put into this marriage and how mindful and dedicated you are. Keep doing that! And anyway, whether you make sure not to go to bed angry or make sure that you are angry when you go to bed, God must perform miracles every day for any marriage to survive. The miracle God performs is that he comes to abide with us. God comes to abide in us as well.
In the wedding service’s prayers we just read, we asked God to fill your house with wheat, wine and oil. I don’t know if you thought about it, but that’s what we say at Great Vespers before great feasts when we have Artoklasia and bless the artos bread. We ask God to bless this wheat, wine and oil, multiply it and give it also to the poor. In the marriage service, we remember that marriage has a purpose: to equip you for every good work. Marriage is given to you so that you can bless others. We observed we are given marriage and procreation so that we can educate children in faith and the fear of God. God abides in us and with us so that as spouses we can do every good work, bless others and educate children. That is what a wedding is about.
Considering that, I want to remind everyone about the greatest wedding that ever was, which all other weddings should imitate. Which one is that? The following is a hymn is from Holy Week, when we are remembering death and resurrection of Christ, as he married his bride, the Church. We sing:
Behold, the Bridegroom cometh at midnight, and blessed is the servant whom he shall find awake. But he whom he shall find neglectful is verily unworthy. Behold, therefore, oh my soul. Beware lest thou fallest into deep slumber and the door of the kingdom be closed against thee. But be thou wakeful, crying out, “Holy, holy, holy art thou, O God.”
We also sing:
I behold thy bridal chamber richly adorned, O my saviour. But I have no wedding garment to worthily enter. Make radiant the garment of my soul, O giver of life, and save me.
Here is the church’s marriage advice:
Don’t fall into deep slumber. That means don’t be careless, take each other for granted or neglect your calling to serve your community.
Be wakeful. Actively look for opportunities and duties. Embrace and collect commitments to your community and family. God dwells with you in your duty and commitments. His yoke is easy. But he gives you a yoke. Lean into it.
Get a radiant garment. I don’t want the reason you go to your prayer corner to be that “we should do this.” I want you to pray because you cannot be the spouse, parent, or community member others need you to be unless you have the heart of prayer: wakefulness, peacefulness, humility, and God-centredness. That is a wedding garment.
I remember the priest at our wedding talking about a multi-cultural marriage and how we should continue to put God first, making him the main feature of the mini-culture we would create from two. I hope you remember that, but even more, I hope you think of your wedding every time we have bridegroom matins in Holy Week. I hope you will pray that Jesus will make your marriage like the bridal chamber where God is saving the world through the self-sacrifice and holiness of Jesus Christ, our true Bridegroom.