marriage – St. Vincent's Orthodox Church

The following is the homily from Isaac and Rebecca Michayluk’s wedding.

The only thing I remember from the sermon at my wedding was when the priest said that we were a cross-cultural couple (my wife and I are from different countries). He told us we would develop our own traditions, for example, how we celebrate Christmas or how we would say grace. We were going to form our own family with our own values and vision. That is actually what it means to be “one flesh:” one flesh is one family unit

That priest pointed out that our key value was being Christians. We had decided to get married young and in the church because that was consistent with our faith. He said observed that this set us apart from our peers at that time like it does today for you.

Rebecca and Isaac, you are also a cross-cultural marriage. You have two equally beautiful and dignified cultures to celebrate and be proud of. Two of them. And a third one as well, which will be your own special hybrid. You have also invited God to come to your wedding. You have put him first You have asked for his blessing here in the Church.

It is common to give lots of advice in the wedding homily, but you will get plenty of that at the reception later. Apparently, you already got a bunch of marriage advice at the bridal shower, too. Some say, “Don’t go to bed angry.” I heard that one person said do go to bed angry because you don’t think straight when you’re tired.” I like that.

I’m not going to give you advice about when to go to bed or how much chocolate you should give her on Valentine’s Day because everyone has either done that or will do it later tonight. Plus, we spent several hours doing marriage prep. I think I know better than anyone how much work you have already put into this marriage and how mindful and dedicated you are. Keep doing that! And anyway, whether you make sure not to go to bed angry or make sure that you are angry when you go to bed, God must perform miracles every day for any marriage to survive. The miracle God performs is that he comes to abide with us. God comes to abide in us as well.

In the wedding service’s prayers we just read, we asked God to fill your house with wheat, wine and oil. I don’t know if you thought about it, but that’s what we say at Great Vespers before great feasts when we have Artoklasia and bless the artos bread. We ask God to bless this wheat, wine and oil, multiply it and give it also to the poor. In the marriage service, we remember that marriage has a purpose: to equip you for every good work. Marriage is given to you so that you can bless others. We observed we are given marriage and procreation so that we can educate children in faith and the fear of God. God abides in us and with us so that as spouses we can do every good work, bless others and educate children. That is what a wedding is about.

Considering that, I want to remind everyone about the greatest wedding that ever was, which all other weddings should imitate. Which one is that? The following is a hymn is from Holy Week, when we are remembering death and resurrection of Christ, as he married his bride, the Church. We sing:

Behold, the Bridegroom cometh at midnight, and blessed is the servant whom he shall find awake. But he whom he shall find neglectful is verily unworthy. Behold, therefore, oh my soul. Beware lest thou fallest into deep slumber and the door of the kingdom be closed against thee. But be thou wakeful, crying out, “Holy, holy, holy art thou, O God.”

We also sing:

I behold thy bridal chamber richly adorned, O my saviour. But I have no wedding garment to worthily enter. Make radiant the garment of my soul, O giver of life, and save me.

Here is the church’s marriage advice:

Don’t fall into deep slumber. That means don’t be careless, take each other for granted or neglect your calling to serve your community.

Be wakeful. Actively look for opportunities and duties. Embrace and collect commitments to your community and family. God dwells with you in your duty and commitments. His yoke is easy. But he gives you a yoke. Lean into it.

Get a radiant garment. I don’t want the reason you go to your prayer corner to be that “we should do this.” I want you to pray because you cannot be the spouse, parent, or community member others need you to be unless you have the heart of prayer: wakefulness, peacefulness, humility, and God-centredness. That is a wedding garment.

I remember the priest at our wedding talking about a multi-cultural marriage and how we should continue to put God first, making him the main feature of the mini-culture we would create from two. I hope you remember that, but even more, I hope you think of your wedding every time we have bridegroom matins in Holy Week. I hope you will pray that Jesus will make your marriage like the bridal chamber where God is saving the world through the self-sacrifice and holiness of Jesus Christ, our true Bridegroom.

Advice at the Wedding in Cana

At that time there was a marriage at Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there; Jesus also was invited to the marriage, with his disciples. When the wine gave out, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “O woman, what have I to do with you? My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” Now six stone jars were standing there, for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus said to them, “Fill the jars with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. He said to them, “Now draw some out, and take it to the steward of the feast.” So they took it. When the steward of the feast tasted the water now become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the steward of the feast called the bridegroom and said to him, “Every man serves the good wine first; and when men have drunk freely, then the poor wine; but you have kept the good wine until now.” This, the first of his signs, Jesus did at Cana in Galilee, and manifested his glory; and his disciples believed in him. (John 2:1-12)

Ben & Isabelle Regush
August 24, 2025

When I am preaching at a wedding, I try not give a bunch of cliché marriage advice. There will be plenty of that at the reception! Also, the best marriage advice ever given at a wedding was not given to the bride and groom. It was given by Mary to the servants at the wedding in Cana: “Do whatever Jesus tells you to do.” That is what Mary told the servants of the household when they ran out of wine.

Can you imagine the panic those servants were feeling when they ran out of wine? Do you think their master would have accepted responsibility for this problem when he lost face in front of all his guests? Would he reassure them that it wasn’t their fault? No. On the contrary, it probably was the servants’ fault, since they would have been in charge of procuring all of the food and wine. Someone was about to get into big trouble.

That is exactly the moment when we need to be told, “Do whatever Jesus tells you to do.” When you find yourself in a tight spot financially, Jesus says, “Pray.” He says, “My Father provides for the sparrows, I can provide for you.” When we feel angry with our spouse, when we are exasperated with our children, Jesus says, “Come unto me all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me. For I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30) Jesus tells us meekness and humility are how our love survives hardship and fatigue.

When we have just gotten married, everyone is celebrating, and we are dressed up we think, “Finally!” Yet we are also wondering, “How are we going to pull this off? What if we can’t manage?” There are so many things to be worried about, like the servants at the wedding in Cana. Jesus says, “I have overcome the world, fear not.” He does not mean, “Just stop feeling scared. Buck up!” He means that when we follow him, we will be victors with him. When we love to the end and without exception, we are victors over sin and fear. When we are faithful, as he is faithful and just and forgives all our unrighteousness. By listening to him and obeying him, we will endure. We will see how Jesus provides, and how the bland water of our troubles turns into the wine of gladness. We see afterwards how Jesus was always with us the whole time, and we take the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord.

Worship and prayer keep us centred in everything we do, especially as a couple. You are never of one mind quite as much as when you pray with shared fervour, together, to the same Lord, Jesus Christ. You are calling on his name, and your life is filled with his presence. When you are nervous and hopeful, call on the name of the Lord. When you are comfortable but have stopped daring to hope, call on the name of the Lord. When it all turns out okay, and you are happy, relieved, celebrating, feeling young and in love, call on the name of the Lord.

Your children will hear you do it. You and your children will be filled with wisdom and peace, and you will be given words to say in the midst of your trials. You will be what a husband and wife are meant to be and your home will become a church.

As husband, you will become the priest of the family, speaking words of encouragement to your wife and children. You bring her needs and her prayers to God at the altar of your icon corner.

As a wife, you train your children to look to their father, your family’s head. You will be like Mary who said, “Do whatever he tells you.” You will find joy and safety when you and your children call on the name of the Lord together with your husband. You will say what Mary said, “My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God, my Saviour.” Henceforth your children will call you blessed. They will say, “Our mother taught us how to obey.”

This room is filled with people who love you. That is better than any wedding registry. They are all giving you the gift of their prayers. Take those prayers home, together with all that love. You will in your new home thinking, “Finally! Just us:” Take those prayers and love you are being given today and fill your cupboards and drawers with them. Fill your home with the scent of incense, both from your own prayers at home, and from your constant participation in the life at church. Keep praying together. Then you will be given a pure heart, and you will see God in your home.

Tag: marriage

The True Bridegroom

Marriage Advice at Cana