Tag: orthodox

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Proskomedi (part 1)

How does the Holy Spirit speak to us? How does the Holy Spirit help us to make decisions? How do we know who has authority to discern the guidance of the Holy Spirit for the Church? These are the questions we are going to learn about today and in the next few Sundays.

In order to learn about this we are going to study the Proskomedi. The Proskomedi is a service of preparation that is celebrated by the priest before Divine Liturgy. When it is finished, the wine and the bread are ready to be carried into the church for the Eucharist. The priest celebrates this service on a table in the altar that stands off to the side.

The table is called the Prothesis. “Prothesis” means the act of bringing something forth. The Proskomedi service is a picture of how the Holy Spirit works in our lives. We are going to study the text of the Proskomedi for a few reasons. First of all, learning about the prayers of the church teaches us to think like the Church. Second of all, the Proskomedi teaches us what the words “authority” and the “inspiration” of the Holy Spirit mean.

Authority comes from the Latin word “augment.” In Roman law, authority was idea that you can only make new laws if they are a continuation of previous laws. You cannot make anything new. Christians took this concept and applied it to the doctrine of the Church. Like St. Paul and St. Vincent teaches us: we only repeat what we have heard.

The Proskomedi tells us about Christian authority and what makes for authoritative teaching. The Proskomedi teaches us who has authority. It does this by showing us what the original authority is and how it continues and reaches us.

The word Proskomedi means sacrifice. It is a Bloodless sacrifice. In ancient times and in the Old Testament, food offerings and whole-burnt offerings fell into this category of bloodless sacrifices. These were not animal sacrifices of blood or atonement. They were offerings from the people without blood. The Proskomedi is the sacrifice that we make, offering what we have to God. We offer our work to God by giving the product of our work.

The first prayer of the Proskomedi is, “God be gracious to me, a sinner.” That might sound like a generic introductory phrase. But in fact, this prayer captures the essence of all of our prayers. We are sinners who need God.

Today we read about Zacchaeus who was a sinner. Zacchaeus was basically like the mafia. He was an extortionist. Being a tax collector meant not only that he took people’s money but he had the power to put you in jail whenever he wanted if he didn’t get the money he wanted.

We read today how Zacchaeus turned his life around. Zacchaeus was numbered among the seventy apostles who Jesus sent out to heal and preach the gospel. Zacchaeus became an apostle and a bishop!

Zacchaeus is a good example of how God works in our lives. The “original” from which all authority derives is Jesus Christ. Jesus comes to Zacchaeus and sees him hiding in a tree. And Jesus says to him “come down, I am going to eat at your house.” Where did Jesus get the authority to tell him what to do? Where did Jesus get the authority to just say “I am going to your house?”

On the one hand Jesus got that authority because he is the creator of Heaven and Earth and is the Son of God. But more importantly Jesus has that authority because he created Heaven and Earth in order to die on the cross for us. Jesus has the authority to call Zacchaeus to repentance because Jesus is eternally the righteous one who died for Zacchaeus. Jesus leaves his Father’s house to come to save Zacchaeus. By his death, Jesus is showing Zacchaeus what Zacchaeus should do. “Go to the lost sheep,” he tells Zacchaeus. “Boldly go to sinners and enter their houses when everyone else thinks they are unclean, just like I have entered your house. Love the sinners. Believe in the power of God to heal the sinners.” That is what Jesus is calling Zacchaeus to do. Because Jesus is the one who does it first, he has the authority to cause Zacchaeus to do it. He is the original, Zacchaeus is the continuation.

Zacchaeus is there in Jerusalem at Pentecost when the Holy Spirit comes. He sees the power of the Holy Spirit to convert thousands of people. Zacchaeus receives the authority and the gift of preaching the gospel, the gift of guiding the Church as a bishop. He takes what he and all the apostles saw, what they together learned from Jesus. He takes what Peter, the leader of the apostles has said. He takes the guidance of the twelve chief apostles. Working within that framework he goes out to continue his own ministry as an apostle and a bishop.

The Holy Spirit moves in the Church. The Church received the Holy Spirit at Pentecost. Each person received their individual gift and calling of the Holy Spirit in the context of the whole Church. No one did it alone. No one is independent of the rest. No one speaks on their own authority. Not even Jesus speaks on his own authority, but rather he speaks what the Father has spoken to Him.

So when we continue to learn about the Proskomedi we continue to see how the life and death of Jesus has power and authority that spreads out from one person to the next, in the context of the Church, in the fulness of all the people in the Church who are called to various tasks and positions of leadership, and it continues down to each person in their place.

Each of you has the authority to spread the Gospel. Primarily you do this  by living the Christian life. In the same way that Jesus’ authority comes from what he does and he invites you to be righteous with him. He has authority because he knows how. He has authority because he has experienced suffering for righteousness’ sake.

Authority and inspiration in the Church come from the life of obedience and worship and discipleship. And it is spread from you to others who see it in you. It comes through you to your children and grandchildren, to you nieces and nephews and other children in your life; to your godsons and goddaughters, to enquirers and catechumens. Your life in Christ is a conduit for the Holy Spirit to reach others. But only in the context of the wider Church.

Your authority is not to enforce canons. Canons are provided to bishops as a help for them to guide us. Your authority is not to decide how the Bishops should lead the Church. Your authority is not over priests and deacons. You do not have the right to make the bigger decisions about how the worship is done in the church. Each person in their own place and their own calling. Each person has their own type of authority and inspiration.

Each person only has as much authority and inspiration as the Holy Spirit has given them in the context of the Church. Authority and inspiration are given us first and foremost in order for us to obey Jesus, and to have a life of righteousness that they invite others to join.

St. Paul talks about this authority when he speaks about the gifts of the Holy Spirit. He says that the body is one, and the head cannot say to the foot, “I don’t need you.” The leaders of the church must not disdain or ignore the people who follow them.

Our bishops need us to learn from them and to follow them. The church does not function well if we do not all follow their leadership. They need us to pray for them. They need us to do the work of serving and running the day-to-day tasks of the church. They need us to listen to them so that others can be saved: to provide a good example of cooperation and obedience to others.

The foot (that is us) cannot say to the head, “I don’t need you as my head” or “I can also be a head.” We have one head. The bishops do not need our guidance. One person is the father. All the others are children. The Head cannot say to the foot, “I do not need you.” But the head is still the head and not the foot.

I once heard Bishop John tell a group of people, “As the bishop, I need you to have a job. But you need me in order to be a church. Without me you are just a club. You might be a great club, but you are not a church without me.”

The Holy Spirit comes to each person through the whole of the Church. He comes to us through the teachings of the Church which come to us through our teachers. He comes to us through the scriptures when they are taught and explained to us by those whom the Holy Spirit has called to teach us. The Holy Spirit does not come to you by going around the Church, but through the Church, through the fulness of the life of the Church.

The inspiration of the Holy Spirit is not just a radio frequency that anyone can tune into without respect to training or ordination. The Holy Spirit guides us by providing us with people who have studied and are recognized by our bishops as being qualified.

So let’s read one of the first prayers of the Proskomedi:

Make ready, O Bethlehem for Eden has been opened for all. Prepare, O Ephratha, for the tree of life has blossomed forth in the cave from the Virgin. For her womb has become a spiritual Paradise in which is planted the divine plant, whereof eating we shall live and not die as Adam. Christ shall be born, raising the image that fell of Old.

This prayer is not just from the Proskomedi, it is also a hymn that we sing at Christmas. On the Prothesis table where we celebrate the Proskomedi we have the Christmas icon. Christ coming to us when we celebrate the Proskomedi. Soon we will receive the body of Christ.

We say that Eden is opened. The creation of the world and the garden of Eden was part of the story line in which Jesus would become man. That is the whole point of creation and human existence is for us to become like Jesus. The Tree of life is the cross. It is beginning to come to us when we prepare of the Divine Liturgy.

The prayer mentions the “Divine plant.” This recalls when Jesus says, “I am the vine you are the branches.” Jesus says “remain in me” Jesus’ love, self-sacrifice, total dedication to God are what we are called to make our lives about. They are the climax of creation.

The life we are created to live in Christ, that is the continuation from the original which is Jesus Christ. All authority and all inspiration from the Holy Spirit shows us how to be part of that. Authority brings about the continuation of the life of Jesus Christ in the life of every Christian. That authority begins in the altar where the Bishop serves together with his priests that he has ordained.

We come to the Proskomedi asking for help as sinners. When the Holy Spirit guides the Church by giving the gift of leadership to our bishops, and the gifts of teaching to our teachers, when the Holy Spirit speaks to us through them about how to live a life in Christ, that is the help we are given. Authority is the voice of the church calling us to a life in Christ, telling us how, guiding us. The hymn above says that we shall live and not die as Adam. Christ shall be born, raising the image that fell of old.

Next time we will talk about how the Proskomedi explains to us what the life in Christ is. What is it that the Church teaches us to do? How does it guide us? How does the work of the Holy Spirit become our own life? That is what we will discuss in the next part of this series.

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Praying with Jesus

At that time, Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but the boat by this time was many furlongs distant from the land, beaten by the waves; for the wind was against them. And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, saying, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out for fear. But immediately he spoke to them, saying “Take heart, it is I; have no fear.” And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, bid me come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus; but when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, “O man of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they entered the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” And when they had crossed over, they came to land at Gennesaret.

MATTHEW 14:22-34

The disciples were rowing in the storm in today’s gospel. They were cold, wet and tired. It was also pitch dark. When you are in a boat on the stormy seas there is no break from the waves. You can’t press pause.

The wind was blowing against them, otherwise they would have used the sail. And this sounds like the worst-case scenario, but it was not. When it is stormy, the best thing is to have the front of the boat point straight into the waves. What is dangerous is when the waves come from the side. The storm that Jesus left them in was difficult but not deadly.

This is the second time that Jesus is with the disciples in the storm. The last time there was a storm, Jesus was with them in the boat. This time he is on land, and they are rowing alone. He is training them for their work as apostles once he ascends into heaven.

Many interpret this story as “Jesus comes to us in our storm to comfort us.” That is part of the point.

But when Jesus comes to the disciples it is not comforting at first. The disciples think that they are seeing a ghost. You don’t look outside when you’re rowing and working so hard. You can’t see someone walking on the water in that darkness. But suddenly Jesus is right up next to them.

Peter says, Lord, if it is you, tell me come to you.” Peter did not say, “let me walk on the water too.” Rather, Peter says, “let me come to you, Jesus.” Peter did not say, “I am coming.” He waits to hear the voice of Jesus. He waits for a command.

Jesus says, “come.”

Peter is full of love but also eager to the point of recklessness. Jesus affirms his love because Jesus always receives us when we run to him. Jesus also allows Peter to learn how to be more sober.

By allowing Peter to first walk out onto the water, and then sink, Jesus is saying to Peter, “Yes, you want to come to me. That is a desire which will always be fulfilled. But no, you are not invincible in your faith. Take your weakness seriously. Be careful not to get caught up in ecstasy.”

Powerful and intense feelings are deceptive. An intense feeling is not a substitute for sober, mature thought. Feelings are like little children. They are precious and command our attention. They are hard to ignore. They become our darlings.

But feelings have to grow up. Feelings cannot always dominate our conversations. Every child has to learn not to interrupt. Every child has to learn that mom and dad cannot always read them books; cannot always give them a hug. Mom and dad have to correct them. Mom and dad need to expect them to work.

Affection walks hand-in-hand with steady direction. That is how our feelings must be managed. When we allow our feelings to be the boss, especially in our faith, then our world is ruled by a child. A child who is in charge of the house becomes the worst of tyrants.

Love the feelings. Be open to the feelings. But let your inner adult be the boss. That is the best thing for your feelings.

The disciples were on the sea, in the storm. They were almost home when Jesus came to them. The thing that had brought the disciples so close to their goal was not a feeling of ecstasy but hard work.

When Jesus comes to deliver them from the storm He waits until the “fourth watch.” That is something like 4 or 5 in the morning. The night was almost over. They got to their destination immediately after he came to them. Hard work and faithfulness and the mature sobriety brought them most of the way. When Jesus comes to the disciples, He does not calm the storm immediately. The storm is still raging when Peter gets out of the boat. That is why Peter starts to be afraid. Sometimes just as we are about to be delivered the storm gets much worse. That is almost a part of the proof that deliverance is at hand.

Jesus calmed the waters but he did not give them wind from behind to fill their sails either. They still had to row the rest of the way. But because they had been working so hard against the storm, the rest of the work was easy by comparison.

When Peter’s faith starts to fail, when he loses sight of who it is that he is walking towards, when it is less a matter of love and more a matter of being seduced by feelings of wonder, then he sinks. Jesus steps in and supplies what is lacking. At the ordination of a priest or deacon, the bishop prays that God will supply was is lacking.

This means something wonderful and unexpected: we too can be part of supplying the faith that is lacking in others. How is that?

The reason Jesus was not in the boat with them that night was that he withdrew to pray. Perhaps he was praying for them as they rowed. Think about that for a moment. Jesus, our Lord and God and saviour, prays. We pray to him. He prays to his Father.

When we pray, we are praying not only to Jesus but with Jesus. What else are we doing with Jesus? We come to church to serve and to make sacrifices with Jesus. Jesus is not only he who was offered. Jesus is he who offers. He is both the lamb who was slain and the High Priest.

We too make offerings together with Jesus. In the Divine Liturgy we say, “thine own of thine own, we offer unto thee in behalf of all and for all. We do this in behalf of all. We supply what is lacking in their faith by offering up spiritual sacrifices for our own sins and for the ignorance of the people.

Just showing up, just participating is an expression of divine faith. We have come to walk on the water by coming here to church. Even if we do not have an ecstatic feeling of faith, even if we struggle to even know why we are here we are still working together with Jesus to save the world. Faithfulness, showing up and working hard may bring a feeling of closeness to Jesus. But it always is a closeness to Jesus, even if we do not feel it.

And Jesus supplies what is lacking (often by allowing us to struggle, since he knows that we mature in that way). Jesus is with us so that we will become one with him in his prayer and in his ministry to the world.

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On this Rock: the faith of St. Peter

At that time, when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do men say that the Son of man is?” And they said, “Some say John the Baptist, others say Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” Simon Peter replied, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” And Jesus answered him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar Jona! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven. And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”

Matthew 16:13-19

When Peter calls Jesus the “Son of God,” he is means that Jesus is a man who great and mighty. Perhaps Jesus is some kind of warrior-king like King David, or perhaps a prophet like Elijah. Jesus can work miracles. He is the “Son of God,” for that reason.

Jesus says, “Blessed are you … for flesh and blood did not reveal this to you …” “Flesh and blood” in this context means the kind of things that are mighty and awe-inspiring in our material world. It means “the visible world.” “Flesh and blood,” means an authoritative person, a leader, a warrior-king, a great teacher. Peter says, “Son of God,” but Jesus replies that the true meaning of this confession is not found only in the notion that Jesus is a strong and charismatic man. Jesus is not just that.

Jesus refers to Peter as “Bar Jona” which means “Son of Jonah” in Aramaic. He is saying, “You call me ‘Son of God.’ I am calling you, ‘Son of Jonah.’ Jonah is the father you left in the boat in Galilee when you followed me. You became something more than Bar Jona. I am something more than the Son of God in the sense that you mean. When you see me, you are seeing an image of my Father who is in heaven. I have also come from my father to you, as you left your father to follow me.”

Jesus tells Peter that he will build his church, “on this rock.” What rock? “Peter” is the nick-name that Jesus gave Simon. And Peter means rock. So perhaps Jesus is saying, “on this “Peter” I will build my church.” How can Jesus build a church with Peter as the foundation? Jesus is the cornerstone which the builders rejected! Jesus is the foundation.

Rock, in the context of building, means bedrock; the rock you get to when you dig all the way down through the dirt and can’t go any farther. Jesus says elsewhere, “therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.” (Matthew 7:24) The confession of Peter is the beginning of the faith. That confession, such as it was, was a bedrock foundation. But a foundation must be built upon. This confession, at this time, is not the whole house. In the next verse, Peter will rebuke Jesus for saying that he must die on the cross! How perfect is this faith? Clearly not perfect yet.

Even though Peter calls Jesus the “Son of God,” in today’s reading, later on Peter denies Christ. This is because, despite Peter’s eagerness, he did not yet understand that Jesus is not simply a mighty man. Peter does not know yet that the full greatness and wisdom and power of Jesus is revealed as Jesus takes up the cross of weakness, and in so doing reveals his Father in Heaven. Peter sees the glory which is fame, reputation, the respect that a person commands, the authority of a person. That is what glory means to Peter. But Jesus tells him that this glory is instead humility, self-sacrifice, love and meekness. It is the willingness to be weak, to trust God, to love others to the end and without exception. The glory of God is a man who is fully alive to God, and dying on the cross.

To admire Jesus in the same way Peter did is only the first step. It is the foundation. We must try to understand Peter, and not be harsh. He did, after all, become Saint Peter, the chief of the Apostle. But when Peter denied Christ, he proved to himself and to us who read the Gospel that admiration is not the fulness of the faith. Peter did not trust that God could save the world through weakness. And so, even though it looks as if Peter has great faith, in fact his faith is only a small faith which will quickly fail. Peter will become an apostate, one who no longer believes, when he denies Christ.

When we disobey God, we too are apostates at that moment. We do not trust God to give us what we need. We feel that we must disobey. We must grab for relief, not believing that God can give it to us. We deny Christ in our disobedience. We run away from the crucified Lord at that moment of disobedience.

Peter wept bitterly after his denial of Christ. So, in one sense, he returned to his faith. He regretted his apostasy. After Jesus rose from the dead, he met Peter at the Sea of Galilee and asked him three times, “do you love me?” Each time, Peter said, “yes.” Jesus exhorts Peter to, “feed my sheep.” The third time Jesus asks Peter, “do you love me,” Peter is grieved and says, “you know everything, you know that I love you.” In response, Jesus tells Peter that he will die as a martyr, “to show by what death Peter was to glorify God.” At first, Peter thought that the glory of Jesus was human glory. But now Peter learns that he will glorify God by his own death.

St. Peter did end up feeding the sheep. St. Peter fed the sheep by showing them how to truly confess Christ. He showed them what real belief and faith are. Belief is martyrdom. It is obedience unto death. Belief is trusting God to give us everything we need, even when, and especially when, obedience and holiness and sacrifice are dreadfully difficult. Faith is not being of the opinion that your church is the right one, with the best liturgical expression. Faith is not being impressed by and convinced by the majesty, seriousness and grandeur of the hymns and the doctrines.

True doctrines, true majesty is humility. It is a confession which says, “all I need is to follow you, Jesus, as you trusted in your Father. I do not need to seek a quick fix in sins, but what I need is, rather, to be made holy as you are holy, to participate in your self-sacrificial love.”

Later in his life, St. Peter writes, “God is begetting you.” In other words, “God is becoming your Father.” At vespers of this feast (the feast of Ss. Peter and Paul), we read his first epistle. By this time, Peter is the great apostle, not the wavering fisherman. He writes,

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has begotten us into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls. Concerning this salvation, the prophets, who spoke of the grace that was to come to you, searched intently and with the greatest care, trying to find out the time and circumstances to which the Spirit of Christ in them was pointing when he predicted the sufferings of the Messiah and the glories that would follow.”

1 Peter 1:3–11

St. Peter is now beyond being “Bar Jona” the fisherman. He is beyond calling Jesus, “Son of God,” in a limited sense. Now St. Peter knows that the real sonship of Jesus Christ, his real glory, is the same sonship and the same glory to which we are called, namely to suffer together with our Messiah.

Peter writes, in the other epistles that we read at vespers, “obey the civil authorities so as not to bring shame onto the Church.” He writes, “be holy as God is holy.” Obedience, love, humility, willingness to suffer for the love of others in order to bring the hope of Jesus to the world: all this is true faith. This is the fullness of the faith.

In Rome, Christians have venerated the chains of St. Peter since his death. These are the chains that Peter was bound in, when he was going to his own martyrdom. We reverence these chains because they are the full expression of the faith Peter eventually received. At that point it was no longer the foundation of the faith, but the fullness.

In Rome, only a short time after St. Peter’s death, there was a deacon named Lawrence. Lawrence was given the task of keeping the gold belonging to the church. When there was a time of great persecution, the authorities summoned St. Lawrence and demanded that he turn over the treasure. St. Lawrence agreed to come back the following day to hand over the treasure. That night, St. Lawrence distributed the money amongst the believers. In the morning, he brought the poor, the lame, the sick and the beggars to the authorities. He brought the whole large crowd and said, “behold the treasure of the church!”

Peter’s eagerness from today’s gospel reading, matured into confidence. Obedience to Christ gives us great confidence and daring. This is what St. Lawrence in Rome had learned. When we take on the obedience, the holiness, and the trust in our Father that Jesus revealed to us, then we become so confident that we can teach others how precious they are by showing them true dignity, which is holiness. We show them how precious they are by showing them what they can become by believing in Jesus Christ. This is the meaning of “feeding the sheep” which Jesus called St. Peter to do. This is “nurturing the lambs” of Christ. We feed them by showing them an image of Christ’s humility and holiness. We pass down the true faith to them by following Jesus to his death, in the confident hope of the resurrection!

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MATTHEW 27:33-54

At that time, when the soldiers came to a place called Golgotha (which means the place of a skull), they offered him wine to drink, mingled with gall; but when he tasted it, he would not drink it. And when they had crucified him, they divided his garments among them by casting lots; then they sat down and kept watch over him there. And over his head they put the charge against him, which read, “This is Jesus the King of the Jews.” Then two robbers were crucified with him, one on the right and one on the left. And those who passed by derided him, wagging their heads and saying, “You who would destroy the temple and build it in three days, save yourself! If you are the Son of God, come down from the cross.” So also the chief priests, with the scribes and elders, mocked him, saying, “He saved others; he cannot save himself. He is the King of Israel; let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him. He trusts in God; let God deliver him now, if he desires him; for he said, ‘I am the Son of God.'” And the robbers who were crucified with him also reviled him in the same way. Now from the sixth hour there was darkness over all the land until the ninth hour. And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” And some of the bystanders hearing it said, “This man is calling Elijah.” And one of them at once ran and took a sponge, filled it with vinegar, and put it on a reed, and gave it to him to drink. But the others said, “Wait, let us see whether Elijah will come to save him.” And Jesus cried again with a loud voice and yielded up his spirit. And behold, the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom; and the earth shook, and the rocks were split; the tombs also were opened, and many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised, and coming out of the tombs after his resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many. When the centurion and those who were with him, keeping watch over Jesus, saw the earthquake and what took place, they were filled with awe, and said, “Truly this was the Son of God!

In today’s gospel we read about a centurion. A centurion was much like a sergeant in today’s military. He was a leader of a group of one hundred men. This centurion participated in the crucifixion of Jesus. We actually know the name of this centurion: his name was Longinus.

When Longinus saw how Jesus died he said, “surely this man was the Son of God.” It is interesting that we know the name of Longinus but not of the others with him. The gospel says, “When the centurion and those who were with him, keeping watch over Jesus, saw …  what took place, they were filled with awe, and said, “Truly this was the Son of God!” Longinus was not alone but he is the one whose name we know. We know about his life after Jesus’ death and resurrection and today is his feast day.

Tradition suggests that Longinus believed because as the gospel says, the “earth shook, and the rocks were split and the tombs were opened.” But the gospel does not say that is the only reason he believed or even the primary reason he believed. Surely, one of the many reasons to believe would be that Jesus died without cursing the people who killed him. Jesus asked the Father to forgive them. Jesus gave hope to the thief on the cross beside him. Jesus blessed his disciple and his mother as they stood there. Longinus the centurion would have seen all of that as well.

Longinus is the one who was present at the crucifixion. He was faced with this terrible and awesome event just like each of us is faced every day with a moment of crisis when we decide what we think about the crucified one. There are many unique things about how Longinus saw the crucifixion. First of all, he was a participant. He was doing the crucifying. And the issue of how guilty he was or how much blood he had on his hands is rather unclear.

Longinus was ordered to crucify Jesus. He didn’t know Jesus previously. They told him to kill someone. That’s something soldiers did. So in one sense he had no choice. But on the other hand he chose to be a soldier and he must have known  that soldiers did things like this. Longinus was a small cog in the big machine That killed the God who created heaven and earth. Longinus was a one small part of a much bigger system.

We too are small cogs in a big system that is destroying the world through sin and suffering. Someone else has hurt me and made me angry. t’s not my fault. What am I supposed to do?

I want nice things and I have the opportunity to have them. Everyone that I know else has them. There are poor people who could use my help, but I did not make them poor. It’s not my fault.

There are many demands on my time. Church and God and prayer are difficult to squeeze in. It’s not my fault.

We play our small part in a big huge mess and in the midst of all the factors we do not control and all the factors we do control we meet the God who loves us enough that he invites us to carry our crosses and die with him. We encounter the love of God as the one who so loved the world that he calls the world to be holy as his son is holy. And whosoever follows his son and carries their cross and sells all they have and visits those in prison and clothes the naked; whosoever is living the life of Jesus is already living Eternal Life. That is the love of the God that we encounter today.

And that is a crisis for us each and every day. It is not a one-off moment of crisis. Meeting the crucified Lord is a crisis when I decide whether or not to lash out in my anger. It is a crisis when I decide whether or not to indulge my shallow materialistic desires. It is a crisis when I have to decide what to spend my time on. Why is it a crisis?

When I am angry I think I need a God who will smite my enemies. I think I need a God who tells me that I am right, that I have the answers, that I am on the right side of the debate. I think I need a God like that.

When materialism and the pleasures of the world entice me, I think I need a God who gives me money when I do what he wants. I think I need a God who will take care of the poor for me. So that I don’t have to. I think I need a God who just wants me to enjoy life and be happy. I need a God who will sit in church and wait for me whenever I have time to come. That is the kind of God I think I need; accommodating, generous to me, not too demanding.

I think I need this God because as a sinful person the only other God can imagine is a God who is not generous but stingy. If God is not the guy who does what I want he must be the guy who does what I do not want. That would mean he is a God who does not smite my enemies when I get mad. Maybe he doesn’t even care. Perhaps he is a God who punishes me and threatens me.

The make-believe Santa Claus God we hope for is the jolly and happy opposite of the tyrant and monster we secretly fear that God is. This is the pagan notion of God. Pagans must control God. Pagans must placate God and make him happy so he doesn’t get mad and kill us.

This is the childish and selfish way of understanding God, and it is the religious mindset behind the culture that Longinus belonged to. The Romans had many gods, but the message was basically the same. The army had a god of war who they believed helped them win battles. The Romans had the gods of Rome who helped them conquer and get rich. But none of these gods could tell Longinus who he was meant to be. None of them could show him how he too could become a son of God. A God who is like a vending machine, where we deposit our prayer or our piety, in order to get our request granted – this is not a God who can tell us who we are, not someone who can calm the existential anxiety and emptiness that we feel inside. Neither can the tyrant God we fear. Only the crucified Son of God can reveal to us the Father who runs out to meet the prodigal son on the road. Only the crucified Son of God can teach us to call God our father.

And now Longinus is standing at the foot of the cross and seeing the stark contrast between the loving and humble crucified Lord Jesus and the callous and heartless and shameless people who killed him. And Longinus is confronted with a picture of a God who is not Santa Claus and is not a tyrant who will smite us if we provoke him. Longinus is seeing a God who became like us in our weakness and suffering in order to show us how to be like him in his divine holiness. Longinus is seeing pure love. Longinus is seeing a God who does not want something from us but rather wants to recreate us in his own image.

It is not fitting to ask this God what he can do for me. Instead it is fitting to ask what this God wants to do through me. God does not make the earth quake in order to win a battle against an army. Rather, Jesus is conquering death by death. He is not tearing the temple curtain in two because he has defeated anyone in the temple. Jesus is tearing the temple curtain in two because he has defeated sin. Jesus is not a God who is demanding that we bring blood into the temple so that he can stop being angry. Jesus is a God who brings his own blood as an offering so that we may join him by offering our lives as well. Jesus is inviting all human beings to enter in and offer bloodless sacrifices of praise and worship and he is inviting us into communion with him.

Will we accept this God? Do we want to know this God? If I accept Jesus Christ as my God I can no longer have a magic fairy godmother of a God. Instead I will see God’s providence and generosity when he provides me with people to care for and nurture.

Longinus quit the army and moved back to Cappadocia (in current-day eastern Turkey) where he became a missionary. He founded a fast-growing Christian community. He converted so many people that it got the attention of the authorities.

The soldiers came to arrest Longinus, but when they arrived at the village they did not realize that the person who greeted them was the man they were looking for. Longinus gave them a meal and treated them with hospitality. Just like Jesus shared his meal with Judas. Longinus told the soldiers who he was. The soldiers told him to run away and escape. But he refused to run away just as Jesus refused to plead with Pilot to let him go; just as Jesus accepted the will of the father.

Longinus truly understood and embraced the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God the Father and the communion of the Holy Spirit. Longinus stopped being a cog in the machine of sin that is killing the world. He used his life and his death to bring healing to the world.

Will you also follow Jesus Christ by changing the way you understand who God is and what the nature of your life is, this life that God has given you? Will you also use the time you have in your life to bless and to minister and to serve and to pray? Will you follow Jesus?

Lord Jesus Christ, our God, help us to follow you.

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Are you ambivalent?

At that time, as Jesus was standing by the lake of Gennesaret, he saw two boats by the lake; but the fishermen had gone out of them and were washing their nets. Getting into one of the boats, which was Simon’s, he asked him to put out a little from the land. And he sat down and taught the people from the boat. And when he had ceased speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” And Simon answered, “Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets.” And when they had done this, they enclosed a great shoal of fish; and as their nets were breaking, they beckoned to their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both the boats, so that they began to sink. But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.” For he was astonished, and all who were with him, at the catch of fish which they had taken; and so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon. And Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid; henceforth you will be catching men.” And when they had brought their boats to land, they left everything and followed him.

Luke 5:1-11

John Chrysostom commented on this story and he said that this was the second time that Peter was called by Jesus. Why did he say that?

In the gospel of John, Jesus is baptized by John the Baptist, and the next day he meets Andrew, Peter and other disciples. But in this gospel story from Luke,

A few chapters earlier it says that John the Baptist was put into prison. Today’s story takes place after John the Baptist was put into prison.

John Chrysostom points out that Jesus is using Peter’s boat to sit and teach the crowd. Jesus already knew Peter in today’s story. Jesus had healed Peter’s mother-in-law just a few days earlier (in Luke 4). John Chrysostom also points out that when Jesus met Peter the first time, Peter’s name was Simon, but Jesus gave him the nickname Peter. But in today’s story, Peter is already called Peter. This is the second time Jesus calls Peter to come and follow him.

Why did Jesus need to call Peter two times? Didn’t Peter follow him the first time? I think it was a very difficult thing for the disciples to leave everything and follow Jesus. I think they needed time. I think some of them started to follow him but needed to go home and take care of some business, and then came back. I don’t think it was a simple thing for them to leave all their obligations and wander around from village to village with Jesus.

Perhaps one of the biggest hinderances for Peter was that his mother-in-law was sick and he was obligated to care for her. James and John had a father called Zebedee. Someone needed to care for him.

What has always bothered me about this story is that it appears that Jesus just doesn’t care. One person comes to Jesus and says, “let me bury my father and then I will follow you.” And Jesus says, “let the dead bury the dead.” It sounds like Jesus doesn’t care. In fact, nothing could be farther from the truth. Jesus does care.

What the disciples were experiencing when they first encountered Jesus was ambivalence. When we are ambivalent we want two different things. Although we know we cannot have both we want both. We stand there like deer in the headlights and we cannot choose.

Ambivalence is our inability to accept the truth about which problem in life is the biggest problem in life. There are many problems. Many challenges that we need to grapple with in life. For example, I need to eat. That’s a problem I have to solve. I need to get a job and work and buy food. I need shelter.

What about the problem of the government? The problem of social issues? Those people over there are doing bad things. That government is doing bad things. That religious group over there is doing and teaching the wrong thing.

Another problem that we need to solve in life is fitting in. Humans are social animals. God made us that way. e need to fit in. We need to be part of the team, part of the tribe. We need friends.

These are not non-issues. These are critical issues for our health. What happens when we are surrounded by people who are alienated and disgusted by our faith and our worldview and by our values? Or what if we are surrounded by Christian people who hate the sobriety and solemnity of our Orthodox faith? What if we have friends who think that the most important part of church Is entertainment and the fueling of an emotional addiction? What if these friends of ours can barely contain or hide their utter dismay at the way our Orthodox faith does not even try to cater to those passions? What if we have friends who think that religious people are reactionary and dangerous?

These are legitimate problems and concerns. Our pain and our anxiety are legitimate.Jesus does not dismiss our problems. Jesus knows more about them than we do.

In today’s gospel Peter has an empty boat which Jesus uses to preach from. All the people thronged around Jesus and he was about to fall into the water. So he gets into Peter’s empty boat. Peter has time to row Jesus out into the water because Peter had not caught any fish the whole night before. Peter does not have any fish to take to the market. Peter has nothing better to do this day because he has not caught any fish.

John Chrysostom points out that when Jesus came to Peter and James and John  they were mending their nets. And John Chrysostom says that this shows how poor these fishermen were. When the nets were breaking and wearing out they did not have enough money to buy new ones so they had to patch them up by hand. So not only have they caught nothing this day, their nets are also old and worn out they can barely manage even when the do catch fish.

When we suffer from our ambivalence we find that whatever it is that we allow to compete with our dedication to Jesus, whatever that is, is itself always going to fail, regardless. If we do not allow our minds and our hearts to follow Jesus completely then our sin and our bitterness and our anger and our resentment are always going to undermine whatever we were hoping to accomplish. Unless God founds the city, the builders build in vain, say the scriptures.

Unless the highest truth in our minds is Christ, unless the truth we speak loudest about is Jesus, unless the first person to whom we belong is Jesus, all other things will fail to some degree or another.

For example, we allow our minds to be colonized by the foreign invaders called news anchors and pundits. We allow them to come in and occupy our living rooms all evening. We allow politics to sit on the throne of our hearts. When that happens, we find that although we try to care about the salvation of the world we cannot muster any power of imagination to imagine that people would actually meet Jesus and believe. We begin to struggle to imagine how Jesus could change their lives. The evidence for the fact that we lose our imagination is how utterly committed we become to a message of condemnation and alarm. There is nothing imaginative or hopeful in condemnation. We have no joy left over, no hope for what the power of the Most High could mean for our neighbours. Because the rage of politics has ensnared us like a net, it has caught us. Rage and judgment and righteous indignation cripple our ability to hope and to imagine a world where the Saul who persecutes us can become Paul, the great apostle. We say, “those people are hopeless.” All our mental energy, all of our attention, all of our urgency is already devoured by the sea monster of political rage. We do not preach a message of hope but of doom. The solution we truly believe in is not Jesus, but policy and action.

People who can only express despair and dismay over the political situation in the world have nothing to offer a visitor to the church. There is no good news to be told, only judgment. The vitriol becomes toxic because political rage has no ability to see the power of God which is expressed in quiet humility and patience.

Some of us have a different problem. In our circle of friends, we self-censor and avoid bringing any attention to our faith. We try to pass as “normal. ” But when a friend of ours is in obvious pain, or has suffered a great loss, when someone needs us to believe for them, to hope for them, we find that we have sanitized our language from all mention of God so much that although we long to be able to tell the suffering person, “I will pray for you,” and although we long to actually sit and pray with them, we find that we cannot. We have almost forgotten how.

Whatever feeling of belonging we may have purchased is quickly lost because we become strangers to our true selves.

Not only are we failing to make the world a better place because of our rage, and not only are we failing to find true friendship and true companionship by pretending to be someone we are not, the net of our faith also becomes old and worn out. We are not catching fish and our nets are broken.

Then Jesus says, “let your nets down.”

When Jesus tells Peter to let his net down Peter is sceptical. Peter tells Jesus, “We were fishing all night and we didn’t catch anything.” Basically, Peter is saying, “look, Jesus, no disrespect, but there aren’t any fish to catch. We already tried. But because you told me to, I will try it.” Peter is humouring Jesus. It is safe for Peter to do this because he feels certain he will not lose face. Peter is getting ready to tell Jesus, when there are no fish, “It’s okay, Jesus, don’t feel bad. You’re not a fisherman, Jesus, you couldn’t have known that there were no fish there. (even if we did tell you). Don’t worry about it.” That’s what Peter thought he was going to say.

They let down the net and they catch so many fish that the nets are bursting and breaking. Maybe the nets are ruined now. Maybe this is the last catch of fish that these nets can manage to get to land.

The problem that Peter could not tear himself away from in order to follow Jesus was that he needed to catch fish and make a living. And now Jesus has shown that he is able to solve that problem. Jesus can give him fish. Jesus knows about our worries and concerns. And he does care. He is able to provide. He does provide.

Jesus does care about the things we are worried about too. Jesus does care what happens in our society. But his solution is different than ours. Jesus saves by preaching a righteousness that is greater than the Pharisees. He saves us by showing us a vision of humility, by allowing himself to be crucified.

Jesus does care about our need to belong. And his solution is to tell people, “come follow me.” Jesus creates a community by his obedience to his Father. By serving and loving.

As Orthodox Christians we have something that all our peers need. Jesus knew that he had something everyone needs. That is how he found companionship and community and a sense of belonging.

We will not see how Jesus is providing for us unless we also allow him to solve the one problem which is greater than all our other problems. There is one challenge that is more urgent than all the others and we cannot see how Jesus is filling our nets unless we figure out which problem is the biggest problem.

When Jesus fills Peter’s net with fish, Peter says to Jesus, “depart from me for I am a sinful man.” Peter has many problems and challenges and obligations. But suddenly he understands what his biggest problem is. He realizes what the one thing needful is. Peter’s biggest problem is that he is sinful, not that his mother in law needs help, not that he needs new nets, not that he didn’t catch any fish.

I don’t know about you, but I always imagined that the decision to follow Jesus was always a one-off take-it-or-leave-it moment of crisis. Each person made their mind up once and that was it. That is how the gospel stories sounded to me.

Today’s gospel suggests to us that it was not so simple even for Peter and the other apostles. Maybe that’s why Jesus is always saying, “no one who puts his hand to the plough and then turns back is worthy of me.” Because some believed but struggled. Some wanted to but did not know how. Some people did not think they were worthy.

Followers of Jesus struggle with ambivalence. Jesus does not judge us for our ambivalence. Rather, Jesus is waiting to help us conquer our ambivalence.

Peter’s words reveal his deepest fear and his deepest worry. “You can’t help me, Jesus. I am beyond help. There’s no point.” That is what Peter is saying. “I am going to mess up. I’m going to fail. I’m going to ruin your ministry, Jesus. Run away from me.”

Peter was willing to take a chance on letting Jesus find the fish in the water. But can Jesus find Peter in the deep dark ocean of sin? Can Jesus fish Peter out? Can Jesus take away his sins and make him whole?

Can Jesus heal your pain so that you can feel confident that his grace is sufficient for you? Can Jesus change you? Can Jesus give you peace even when the leaders and politicians have gone astray? Can Jesus make you shine with the light of his love? Can Jesus speak through you to suffering people and save them? That is the biggest question. And the answer is yes.

When Jesus dies for us on the cross he shows us that the only problem that matters is that I am a sinner and the sinful world is perishing. The biggest problem Is that I cannot become who I am created to be unless Jesus calls me to come and follow him.

When Peter realized that his greatest problem was his sinfulness and his lack of hope and faith Jesus gives him a lifeline. Jesus says, “I will make you a fisher of men.”

I know who you are. I am what you need. I am who you need to be. I am carrying the pain you feel. I am the resurrection and the life. Jesus says, “all power in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you.”

Turn the news off.

Walk away.

Go mend the net of your hope and faith in the kingdom of God. So that you can become a fisher of men. Devote your energy and hope and urgency towards the redemption of the people you know.Reserve the throne in your heart for the one who can solve our biggest problem.

In the book of 1 Kings we read this story:

Elijah went …  and found Elisha son of Shaphat. [Elisha] was plowing with twelve yoke of oxen, and he himself was driving the twelfth pair. Elijah went up to him and threw his cloak around him. Elisha then left his oxen and ran after Elijah.

“Let me kiss my father and mother goodbye,” he said, “and then I will come with you.” (literally: I will walk behind you)

“Go back,” Elijah replied. “I will not stop you.”

So Elisha left him and went back. He took his yoke of oxen and slaughtered them. He burned the plowing equipment to cook the meat and gave it to the people, and they ate. Then he set out to follow Elijah and became his servant.

(1 Kings 19:19-21)

Elisha was called to become the apprentice to the greatest prophet Israel had ever known. He made his acceptance of that calling into a clear public statement of faith, and he dedicated his great choice to God as a sacrifice. He gathered people around the choice he had made. He did not only burn the plowing equipment, he burnt his bridges. Now there was no turning back. Elisha put himself in a position of such vulnerability towards God that he had to see how God provided for his needs since no one else could provide for him. Now he had no other livelihood so only God could help him.

Jesus, let me also slaughter the oxen of my worries, let me burn the yoke of my fears so that I may sacrifice together with you. Help me to put off my ambivalence and make myself dependent on you alone, so that I will always remember what is most urgent. Help me to walk behind you.

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Take up your cross

ST. PAUL’S LETTER TO THE GALATIANS 2:16-20

Brethren, knowing that a man is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, in order to be justified by faith in Christ, and not by works of the law, because by works of the law shall no one be justified. But if, in our endeavor to be justified in Christ, we ourselves were found to be sinners, is Christ then an agent of sin? Certainly not! But if I build up again those things which I tore down, then I prove myself a transgressor. For I through the law died to the law, that I might live to God. I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

MARK 8:34-38; 9:1

The Lord said: “If anyone wishes to come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it; and whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it. For what does it profit a man, to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? For what can a man give in return for his soul? For whoever is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of man also be ashamed, when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.” And he said to them, “Truly, I say to you, there are some standing here who will not taste death before they see the kingdom of God come with power.

We are reaching the end of the feast of the elevation of the cross. Great feasts in the Orthodox Church have a forefeast and an afterfeast. The forefeast in most cases is one day, and the afterfeast can be four, six or eight days, or in the case of Pascha 38 days.

The last day of the feast is called the apodosis, the summing up, Apodosis almost means the “saying goodbye” to the feast. Since the elevation of the cross was on Monday, tomorrow is the leavetaking and today is still the afterfeast.

All of this past week if we had been celebrating liturgies every day we would have heard gospel readings and epistle readings referring to the cross because of the feast of the elevation of the cross. “Take up your cross and follow me.” “We are crucified with Christ.” “The cross is a stumbling block to the Jews and folly to the Gentiles.” And so on, and so forth.

Sometimes I think we are desensitized to the meaning of the cross because we have so many beautiful and ornate crosses in our churches. It is perfectly fine and good to make a cross beautiful but we should not lose sight of the paradox that is involved when we do that. The cross was about as elegant as a hangman’s noose or a guillotine. The cross was an instrument of death and torture. And talking about death offends many modern people today. At the very least it makes them feel uncomfortable. Even many Christian are very uncomfortable with talking frankly about death.

One of the reasons we do not like to think about suffering and death is that we see our life as the period of time during which I get to experience as much as possible. Life is the time for me to find my true self-expression, to explore all the mystery of ME. Self-realization, fulfillment, the specialness of ME. Our society thinks that meaning in life comes from experiences. It’s like coloring in a picture. The more different experiences you have, the more the picture is coloured in.

Did you get to play on the sports team in school? Did you have a nice birthday party? Did you get to have a wedding? Was it amazing? Was it your dream wedding? Did you get to have kids? Did you get to go to college? Did you graduate? Did you get to see your grandchildren go to college? Did you travel? Did you own a house? Did you have a hobby? Did you achieve some fame and recognition in your career? Will they talk about you after you die? Did you keep fit as a fiddle at age 90, and swim thirty laps a day, and walk five miles a day until the day you died? Were you doing crossword puzzles on your 95th birthday? Were you amazing and noteworthy and special? Would someone tell your story on Facebook ten years after you died? Would you get more than fifty likes?

This way of viewing life takes the emptiness we feel, the sense of meaninglessness the lack of purpose, and it makes them the engine and the governing principle behind how we live at the expense of all other considerations. Life is seen as the time during which I must be allowed to fill my empty existence with everything I can possibly get my hands on.

But some people don’t get a lot of these experiences and good things. Some people never get to travel. Some people never get to go to university. Some people don’t even have a place to live.

So the me-centred way of viewing the world, the view in which my emptiness is king, says that either those people deserve to suffer because they haven’t worked hard enough. Or else the me-centred worldview says that poor suffering people wouldn’t have known how to enjoy the good things even if they had them. People whose lives are not filled with riches

and luxury and success and noteworthiness, ordinary people, suffering people, people who need a bit of extra help: these people are just seen as losers. What was the point of their existence? It would have been better if they had never been born. That is the logical conclusion of a worldview in which my emptiness is the guiding principle for all my choices.

I know one young man who has special needs which mean that he will probably never have a job or get married. He is fortunate to be able to live on his own, but he requires a lot of assistance even to make that happen.

His mother and father, people who have bought into the notion that the meaning of life is to consume and experience, these are people who think that your worth in life is how much you earn, they actually told him that if they had known how he would turn out they would have aborted him. That is the insidiousness of the materialistic view of life. It is hurtful and evil.

I read an article by a woman who is wheelchair bound. When she became pregnant the doctors just assumed that she didn’t want to keep the baby. “What if the baby turns out like you?” That was what the doctors were basically saying, even if they were somewhat subtler than that. They just assumed that her life wasn’t worth living. Actually, they assumed that her existence was worthless, was nothing but a tragedy and a mistake, because she could not experience the kinds of things they could, like running a marathon or skiing down a mountain. Because her life had challenges and pain therefore they saw it as worthless, something to be avoided at all costs. They completely discounted her as a person with a valuable perspective. They completely discounted her experience of life and her perspective as valuable because of the materialist view of the world.

When the empty person gets to the end of his empty life and all his attempts to fill it with experiences and things have failed to make it any less empty, when our bodies and minds give out and we can no longer try to fill our empty lives with things and pleasure we try to fill our existence with days and hours and minutes. The guiding principle changes from getting as many experiences and pleasures and things as possible to being a guiding principle of the fear of pain and fear of death.

This is a person who thinks that any pain is inhumane and unthinkable. “I have the right not to feel pain! Even though I have lived my whole life completely indifferent to other people’s pain.” This is a person tells himself that death can be avoided, or if not outright avoided, then at least postponed and postponed, and then clinically swept away out of sight and out of mind.

He says, “I have the right to a long life. It is perfectly reasonable for me to expect a long life without pain. I have the right to get pumped full of medicines so that I can breathe for six more months. I have the right not to be uncomfortable. And anyone who does not serve me is evil. The doctors and the nurses are evil if they fail to prolong my life by a few more minutes and hours.”

People begin to take the moral high ground, for the first time, about the sanctity of life, about human dignity, about the tragedy of human suffering when they themselves are in the hospital bed. But we know that the correct time to care about human suffering is when you see others suffer.

The price of seeing our lives as a portion of time that we should fill with as many experiences as possible is that our existence is still empty and we are bitter and disappointed. The price is that we have only made the world around us more empty by taking and not giving. The price of this way of looking at life is that there can be no meaning after death. If the meaning of life is pleasure, what meaning can I have when I am not alive to enjoy pleasure?

Jesus says today, “If anyone wishes to come after me, let him deny himself

and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it; and whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it. For what does it profit a man, to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?”

The meaning of Jesus’ life was to give. The meaning of Jesus’ life was to give sacrificially, to shine with the love of God. To enact a worldview of thanksgiving and worship and trust in the sufficiency of God.

The meaning of Jesus’ life is to invite everyone to share the joy of knowing the Father. How can that apply to you and me?

I want to imagine what it might mean to “take up one’s cross.” Obviously, Jesus did not mean that we would be carrying around big huge piece of wood every day. Obviously it is a figurative statement. So what does it mean? I am going to offer some parallel and complementary ways of seeing this lifestyle of taking up one’s cross.

To take up your cross is to carry around an awareness of your inevitable death.You are going to die. I am going to die. There is no way around it. Death is going to happen. Everyone you love is going to die. How are you going to deal with it?

The materialist way is not to deal with it. Our materialist world makes death clinical and sterile. The orderly whisks the body away before it has even cooled. And many people don’t even have a funeral with the casket or the body of the deceased. Sickness and death are hidden behind a clean white sheet and we pretend they don’t exist.

When I was in seminary there was a deacon who worked at the bookstore and he died suddenly, pretty young. And the day after he died, the priests and deacons of the seminary (including my fellow students) went to the morgue, washed the body of the departed deacon and dressed him in a deacon’s vestments. The touched him and held him. And they showed that his calling is eternal. At his memorial everyone came forward and kissed his hand as he lay in the casket. We looked death square in the face. Deacon Gregory had died. We cried. We sang. We prayed. We did not try to bracket out the “death” aspect of the end of his life.

The people who did that processed and grieved much more fully and in much more of a healthy manner than most people in our society do when death is neatly swept under the rug.

Carrying our cross means asking Jesus to help us to approach our powerlessness with humility and patience and love.

Jesus let the time and place in which I am powerless and weak and afraid be a time when I show other people your love. Let the time of my weakness be a time when you save other people. Let my life be a witness to the fact that you are the meaning of life. You, Jesus, are the only thing that can give life meaning since you are the giver of life and the creator of the world.

Let the time between now and when I die be a time when I do not pretend that I can make my life any more special by taking. Let the time between now and when I die be a time when I give and bless and comfort as many as possible. Let me live another day so that I can show your love to another person.

Carrying our cross means knowing that many of the things that enrage us are petty and unimportant. Why should I fight with my neighbour about the fence? I am going to die soon. I am losing my opportunity to love my neighbour. And I am losing the only thing that matters. I am losing the better portion, the one thing needful.

I don’t think there is a single person who would have been more at peace on their deathbed if that gosh-darn waitress had brought them their dinner a bit more quickly.

A person who carries his cross is resigned to the truth of his own insignificance. I am as significant as one who is already not only dead not only buried but forgotten. I am already dirt.

By this I do not mean that we are worthless or unloved. Each person has infinite worth and is loved infinitely by God. But I am not the center of the universe. He must increase and I must decrease.

It will therefore not enrage me when someone disrespects me or dares to question me. Jesus must increase and I must decrease.

We carry our cross when we can say “What does it matter that they don’t appreciate me? What does it matter that they think I am wrong. Jesus, bless them. All I need is Jesus and no one take him from me. I carry the cross of Christ to remind myself that all I ever need in life is the humility to let go. All I ever need in life is the ability not to fight back, the ability not to get embroiled in hatred. All I ever need in life is to be able to love others as Jesus loved me. My ego is irrelevant. Father forgive them.

That is how we carry our cross. Carrying our cross gives us a perspective on life which fosters gratitude, graciousness, generosity. Carrying our cross means doing whatever we can to be reconciled, now. Before it’s too late. Carrying our cross means letting the people we love know how much we love them. Now.

Death is close by. I am carrying the instrument of my death.I know that there might not be enough time later.

The cross is where Jesus ministers salvation to us. The cross is the place from which he shows us his love. The cross is the place where he gathers his community. From the cross, Jesus tells the disciple he loves, “behold, your mother.” He says, “mother, behold your son.”

Carrying our cross means looking at our church not as the place that serves me what I was expecting in the way I expected it, but instead seeing church as the place where I serve. When I carry my cross I ask myself who is it that needs someone to talk to in church? And I go talk to them. Who can I bless at coffee hour by listening? Which child needs an adult in their life to look up to; omeone who cares about them, who has time, who is happy that they came? Which person here is lonely and needs a friend? Is there someone who is visiting our church and needs to be made to feel welcome and wanted? My life is a time of serving others.

Maybe you think to yourself well, that’s fine as long as I am the one who is helping others. But don’t sit down and talk to me out of pity just because you think I don’t have any friends. Thanks a lot! Carrying our cross may mean accepting that we are the recipients of other people’s love. As Jesus committed his life into his Father’s hands and trusted his Father and waited for his Father to raise him up. Carrying our cross might mean accepting the help of others.

When we search for meaning in life by giving and serving and praying and blessing, death cannot be the end. Because the people we have blessed continue to bless others. The gifts that we give are multiplied thirty, sixty and a hundredfold even when we are sown like seeds in the ground. We keep giving. The saints are with God in heaven and keep giving by their prayers. Our gifts and our giving and our love and our blessing of others are a participation in the eternal service of Christ who is seated at the right hand of the Father. Our lives have a divine meaning. One more day of living is one more day to pray and to give thanks and to love.

As we come up to communion, consider that Jesus said “this is my body which is broken” and, “this is my blood that is shed.” We are eating and drinking his death, his willingness to die, his acceptance of God’s will. We are taking into ourselves the view of life which says, “my life has meaning when I lose it, when I am crucified with Christ. Receive the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord.

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The Wicked Tenants

I’m going to start my sermon today by reading to you from the Old Testament and then I will read you the gospel reading again.

This is from Isaiah 5

“I will sing for the one I love a song about his vineyard: My loved one had a vineyard on a fertile hillside. He dug it up and cleared it of stones and planted it with the choicest vines. He built a watchtower in it and cut out a winepress as well. Then he looked for a crop of good grapes, but it yielded only bad fruit. “Now you dwellers in Jerusalem and people of Judah, judge between me and my vineyard. What more could have been done for my vineyard than I have done for it? When I looked for good grapes, why did it yield only bad? Now I will tell you what I am going to do to my vineyard: I will take away its hedge, and it will be destroyed; I will break down its wall, and it will be trampled. I will make it a wasteland, neither pruned nor cultivated, and briers and thorns will grow there. I will command the clouds not to rain on it.” The vineyard of the LORD Almighty is the nation of Israel, and the people of Judah are the vines he delighted in. And he looked for justice, but saw bloodshed; for righteousness, but heard cries of distress.

Now let’s read today’s gospel reading.

MATTHEW 21:33-42

The Lord said this parable, “There was a land lord who planted a vineyard, and set a hedge around it, and dug a wine press in it, and built a tower, and let it out to tenants, and went into another country.

When the season of fruit drew near, he sent his servants to the tenants, to get his fruit;

and the tenants took his servants and beat one, killed another, and stoned another.

Again he sent other servants, more than the first; and they did the same to them.

Afterward he sent his son to them, saying ‘They will respect my son.’

But when the tenants saw the son, they said to themselves, ‘This is the heir; come, let us kill him and have his inheritance.’

And they took him and cast him out of the vineyard and killed him.

When therefore the owner of the vineyard comes, what will he do to those tenants?”

They said to him, “He will put those wretches to a miserable death, and let out the vineyard to other tenants who will give him the fruits in their seasons.”

Jesus said to them, “Have you never read in the scriptures: ‘The very stone which the builders rejected has become the head of the corner; this was the Lord’s doing, and it is marvelous in our eyes?'”

The story of the vineyard and the wicked tenants is a story about the people of Israel and their relationship with God. Israel is a vine. The vine does not yield good fruit. And the consequence is the exile. About 500 years before Jesus was born All of the educated people in Jerusalem Were forced to move to Babylon. All the priests and leaders were taken captive. The temple was destroyed.

The prophesy we read was predicting that this would happen. The vineyard is the promised land of Israel. The hedge represents the city walls or boundaries of the land. The winepress is the altar where the blood of the animals flowed like wine being pressed out of grapes. The tower was the temple. The fruit represents the sacrifices that were brought to the temple.

There is one special difference between the story in Isaiah and Jesus’ story. In Isaiah, Israel is the vine. And the vine fails to give good fruit. Isaiah explains what that means. The rich people in Israel exploited the poor. There was bribery and corruption and immorality. Good deeds would be good fruit. Bad deeds were bad fruit, especially the bad deeds of oppression by people who were pretending to be religious.

In Jesus’ story the problem is that the tenants don’t give the landlord his portion of the harvest. Jesus changed the story a bit. Jesus has introduced a middleman between the vine and the landlord. This modification of the story is made in order to accuse the priests and the leaders of the people. Jesus adds some nuance to the problem. Jesus does not focus on the fruit being bad fruit. Jesus focuses on how the tenants refuse to give any fruit to the master.

In the story of Isaiah is that the vineyard doesn’t get any rain and foreigners invade it and tear it down. Isaiah was writing about how God allowed Jerusalem to be destroyed in 497 BC. Israel went into exile.

Five hundred years later, in Jesus’ day, the Jews still saw themselves in a kind of exile. Kind of. They lived in Jerusalem. They had a temple. But they did not have their freedom. The Romans were ruling over them. And everyone assumed that God would give them back their old kingdom when they started to produce good fruit again. They believed that when the people pleased God, then God would give them back their kingdom.

But Jesus redefines the problem. Jesus says that the tenants refuse to give the fruit. In other words, the priests are dishonest. The teachers of the people were dishonest.

If I had been one of the Pharisees I would have been offended by what Jesus was saying. How can you hold me responsible, I would have thought. “How can you hold me responsible for the sins of the people? The original story said that the people did not bear fruit. And here I am, a Pharisee, trying really hard to follow all the laws. How am I a tenant who refuses to give fruit to God? It’s not my fault.” That would be my reply.

Jesus says to these leaders and teachers of the people, “You don’t admit that you need help. You want to be seen as leaders and as important people. So you sit at the front in the Synagogue and call yourself a Rabbi but you don’t actually have any wisdom to give them. You don’t actually know how to lead the people in righteousness. And you don’t know how to bring an end to the exile. It’s not working.”

Jesus says to these leaders, “You have created a false religion of extra rules minute details, but no compassion. You don’t care about the people you are supposed to serve. You want the respect that comes with being the tenants of the vineyard. But you don’t actually care about the people you are leading. You make their lives miserable in the name of your religion.”

And then Jesus says to them, “I come to you healing the blind and raising the dead and you can’t admit that I know something you do not. Because of me the adulteress repents of her sins. You never convinced her to stop sinning. You don’t care about her. You are her best customers! And yet you tell me that I am from Satan. You tell me that I am cursed by God.”

“Why can’t you just admit you have no idea how to please God? Why can’t you admit that you are a false leader, a false teacher? Why will you not admit that you are a failed tenant of this vineyard?

So Jesus tells this story about the vineyard. The tenants of the vineyard in Jesus’ story never thought to ask for forgiveness. The tenants did not understand that their landlord was kind. And the leaders of the Jews in Jesus’ time did not know that they could simply ask Jesus for help. They could simply come to Jesus and say, “You have something we don’t have. You have something we don’t even know about. Teach us. Help us.”

There is more evidence of the landlord’s kindness which the tenants did not see. The landlord did not evict the tenants after the first time that they beat his servant. The landlord had every right to kick them out after that first offense. They not stop to ask themselves why the landlord refused to retaliate? Maybe they saw the landlord’s love and patience as weakness.

Then the landlord sent his Son. He gave the tenants the opportunity again to admit that they were wrong. He gave them the chance to stop avoiding the truth.

The truth was that they had nothing to give him. Jesus doesn’t say this, but think of the original story. The fruit from the vine was bad fruit. And they knew it. St. John Chrysostom writes about this story and he says that the tenants of the vineyard were lazy and had not done the work. So they had nothing to give the landlord. And the landlord knows this but he wants the tenants to admit it.

The Father exercises restraint even though he is not obligated to exercise restraint. The Father, or the landlord who is God the Father in this story, is showing the tenants how to exercise restraint. He could have kicked them out after the first attack on his servant. But the Father wants them to have a change of heart.

The tenants do not know how to produce good fruit. They have nothing to give to the father. But the Son who comes to them does know how to produce good fruit. He can show them how. Jesus came to his people performing miracles and turning sinners from their sins. He came to show the leaders how to lead by dying on the cross. He showed them how to lead by his condescension. By becoming a servant.

Jesus came to show them that the way out of the exile is to love and serve the poor. They killed him because they wanted power and privilege and because they didn’t care about correctly interpreting the law. They killed him because they wanted his authority without learning anything about his love and humility. That is what Jesus means when he says that the tenants killed the son of the landlord in order to steal his inheritance.

What about us? In Galatians 5, St. Paul tells us about fruit that we should offer to God. What fruit is that?

the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Think of a person in your life  who is driving you absolutely crazy. It could be someone at work, or at home or somewhere else. Someone who you can’t stand.

St. Paul says that you are invited to produce the fruit of the spirit. You are invited to love that person. You are invited to let the Spirit produce joy in your heart for that person so that you do not become dismayed or enraged. The Holy Spirit gives you joy because you know that God has given us everything we need. The Spirit wants to give you peace and gentleness.

You are in the same position that the tenants of the vineyard were in. You do not have any fruit to give to the servant of God. Now the servant is coming to ask for the Father’s share of the fruit. And you have to decide whether to admit that you don’t have it or whether you will lash out at the servant of God.

In this interpretation, the servant is the person who drives you crazy. Will you react to that person with anger and malice? Will you condemn that person? Will you judge them and talk about them with other people? Will you give them the cold shoulder and exclude them?

When we are faced with difficult people, Jesus is asking us to see that difficult person as the servant of God. And we are asked to admit our own poverty and our own inadequacy.

We say, “Jesus, I have not worked your vineyard. I have not cultivated patience in my life. I have not cultivated empathy and compassion for others. I have not cultivated self-control. I do not have these things to give to your servant. I only have the thorns of sin and passions to give to your servant when he comes to me. Help me Jesus!

Jesus answers us that he is the one who planted the vineyard, and his blood is the wine in the winepress. We only need to offer him our repentance and our humility he will teach us how to cultivate the other fruits of the spirit. The Son himself comes to us in the vineyard, and we are made free simply by confessing to him, “I do not have any grapes to give you.”

When we admit that, the Son himself will show us how to work the land and how to harvest the grapes. The fruits of the spirit are not things that God demands from us. They are virtues that God wants to cultivate within us. If we will only let him.

We let him cultivate the fruit when we say to God, “okay you have put this person in my life who is causing me distress. What do you want me to learn? In what way do you want me to humble myself? Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me.”

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