Matthew 14 – St. Vincent's Orthodox Church

At that time, Jesus saw a great throng; and he had compassion on them, and healed their sick. When it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a lonely place, and the day is now over; send the crowds away to go into the villages and buy food for themselves.” Jesus said, “They need not go away; you give them something to eat.” They said to him, “We have only five loaves here and two fish.” And he said, “Bring them here to me.” Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass; and taking the five loaves and the two fish he looked up to heaven, and blessed, and broke and gave the loaves to the crowds. And they all ate and were satisfied. And they took up twelve baskets full of the broken pieces left over. And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children. Then he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds.
MATTHEW 14:14-22

Previous to the events in today’s gospel, Jesus had sent out the twelve disciples to wander from village to village, doing what Jesus himself had done. They preached, they cast out demons, they healed the sick. They did this while making themselves vulnerable by taking no money on their journey. The disciples returned, and with great joy they reported what had happened. They knew the power of God that could come from their participation in Jesus’ ministry.

Then Jesus and the disciples got news of the death of John the Baptist, killed by Herod Antipas for preaching against Herod’s adultery. Jesus decided to withdraw to a deserted area so as to keep a low profile while Herod was enraged. We do not know how long Jesus and the disciples had isolated themselves before people found them, but eventually a large crowd came to them where they were.

People follow us when we stand for something. When we stand for it to the point that it costs us something, whether we are persecuted or simply on the margins, people see that we have something worth holding on to. So in today’s gospel the people go out of the cities to find Jesus

At this point, the supplies might have been running low for Jesus and the disciples. The disciples protest, “we have only five loaves here and two fish.” They did not have remotely enough food for themselves, let alone for a crowd. Sharing at that point was harder, in one sense and yet people with less are much more likely to share than people with much.

Jesus tells his disciples to feed the crowd. This sounds to me like an impossible task it’s like asking a child to lift a car. What use is that? Surely that would just exasperate the disciples? Is Jesus just preposterously unreasonable?

No.

It might seem that way, but earlier in the gospel, the disciples had already experienced that God provided for them when they went out on their first mission. Even though they took nothing with them on that first mission, they were able to give! Jesus even told them when he sent them, “freely you have received, freely give.” Give what? They had no money and no extra tunic! And yet it worked, somehow.

But now, when they are in the wilderness, when the euphoria had worn off, when they had been hiding out and nothing exciting had happened, they forgot that God can provide. They forgot that God does not just provide for me so that I can have. God provides for us so that I can give. The greatest poverty is not when you have nothing. The greatest poverty is not understanding that you are called to give. When the disciples withdrew into the desert to spend time alone in silence and contemplation, that prepared the disciples so that they had something to offer the people, but they did not realize it at the time.

On Tuesday, we begin the fast of the Dormition. This period goes until the 15th of August which is the feast of the death of Mary. The kind of quietness and contemplation that Jesus and the disciples practiced as they withdrew is a demonstration of what our fasting periods do for us. We settle down. We turn off the TV and the iPad and we focus on cleansing our own hearts so that we are of use to others. Our confessions and our attendance at church are a kind of offering to God which he multiplies so that it feeds others.

We are a counter-culture. We are boldly proclaiming through a silent and unobtrusive lifestyle that meaning is not found in acquiring things and experiences. We unapologetically tell the world that life is not better when I am unchallenged. Life is not better when I congratulate myself on my virtue.

We want to practice poverty so that we can teach poverty. We tell people what is not fulfilling by not looking for fulfillment in those things. We will pray a short prayer service called the Paraklesis on weekday evenings during the Dormition fast. Paraklesis means calling out. In that prayer service, we call out, singing things like “the passions disquiet me.” That means that my own impulses and my sins are causing me not to have peace.

Our songs in the Paraklesis say that we are “surrounded by enemies.” The enemy is our own listlessness and insatiable appetite. We put aside time during the next two weeks to not be controlled by impulses so that we can the safe haven. We practice silence so that we can offer people a peaceful place to rest. We are telling them all to sit down on the grass so that we can distribute to them what Jesus has given to us. We offer our time in the services so that we can make a welcoming space for people to come to. We bring ourselves back to a place where we can remember to whom we belong so that when people wander into our church we can show them whose house it is.

Come to Paraklesis. Read the words. Fast in such a way that your life is calmer and quieter. Take long walks. Fill up your time with something else. That is our gift to give the world. No one else is offering that. There is other Church where people call themselves Christians and offer fasting and silence as one of their chief expressions of the Christian faith. This is true life. When people find us, they recognize that this quiet counter culture is something they need.

We get to be the ones who hand out the fish and loaves to the five thousand people when we follow Jesus out into the desert.

At that time, Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but the boat by this time was many furlongs distant from the land, beaten by the waves; for the wind was against them. And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, saying, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out for fear. But immediately he spoke to them, saying “Take heart, it is I; have no fear.” And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, bid me come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus; but when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, “O man of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they entered the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” And when they had crossed over, they came to land at Gennesaret.
MATTHEW 14:22-34

The disciples were rowing in the storm in today’s gospel. They were cold, wet and tired. It was also pitch dark. When you are in a boat on the stormy seas there is no break from the waves. You can’t press pause.

The wind was blowing against them, otherwise they would have used the sail. And this sounds like the worst-case scenario, but it was not. When it is stormy, the best thing is to have the front of the boat point straight into the waves. What is dangerous is when the waves come from the side. The storm that Jesus left them in was difficult but not deadly.

This is the second time that Jesus is with the disciples in the storm. The last time there was a storm, Jesus was with them in the boat. This time he is on land, and they are rowing alone. He is training them for their work as apostles once he ascends into heaven.

Many interpret this story as “Jesus comes to us in our storm to comfort us.” That is part of the point.

But when Jesus comes to the disciples it is not comforting at first. The disciples think that they are seeing a ghost. You don’t look outside when you’re rowing and working so hard. You can’t see someone walking on the water in that darkness. But suddenly Jesus is right up next to them.

Peter says, Lord, if it is you, tell me come to you.” Peter did not say, “let me walk on the water too.” Rather, Peter says, “let me come to you, Jesus.” Peter did not say, “I am coming.” He waits to hear the voice of Jesus. He waits for a command.

Jesus says, “come.”

Peter is full of love but also eager to the point of recklessness. Jesus affirms his love because Jesus always receives us when we run to him. Jesus also allows Peter to learn how to be more sober.

By allowing Peter to first walk out onto the water, and then sink, Jesus is saying to Peter, “Yes, you want to come to me. That is a desire which will always be fulfilled. But no, you are not invincible in your faith. Take your weakness seriously. Be careful not to get caught up in ecstasy.”

Powerful and intense feelings are deceptive. An intense feeling is not a substitute for sober, mature thought. Feelings are like little children. They are precious and command our attention. They are hard to ignore. They become our darlings.

But feelings have to grow up. Feelings cannot always dominate our conversations. Every child has to learn not to interrupt. Every child has to learn that mom and dad cannot always read them books; cannot always give them a hug. Mom and dad have to correct them. Mom and dad need to expect them to work.

Affection walks hand-in-hand with steady direction. That is how our feelings must be managed. When we allow our feelings to be the boss, especially in our faith, then our world is ruled by a child. A child who is in charge of the house becomes the worst of tyrants.

Love the feelings. Be open to the feelings. But let your inner adult be the boss. That is the best thing for your feelings.

The disciples were on the sea, in the storm. They were almost home when Jesus came to them. The thing that had brought the disciples so close to their goal was not a feeling of ecstasy but hard work.

When Jesus comes to deliver them from the storm He waits until the “fourth watch.” That is something like 4 or 5 in the morning. The night was almost over. They got to their destination immediately after he came to them. Hard work and faithfulness and the mature sobriety brought them most of the way. When Jesus comes to the disciples, He does not calm the storm immediately. The storm is still raging when Peter gets out of the boat. That is why Peter starts to be afraid. Sometimes just as we are about to be delivered the storm gets much worse. That is almost a part of the proof that deliverance is at hand.

Jesus calmed the waters but he did not give them wind from behind to fill their sails either. They still had to row the rest of the way. But because they had been working so hard against the storm, the rest of the work was easy by comparison.

When Peter’s faith starts to fail, when he loses sight of who it is that he is walking towards, when it is less a matter of love and more a matter of being seduced by feelings of wonder, then he sinks. Jesus steps in and supplies what is lacking. At the ordination of a priest or deacon, the bishop prays that God will supply was is lacking.

This means something wonderful and unexpected: we too can be part of supplying the faith that is lacking in others. How is that?

The reason Jesus was not in the boat with them that night was that he withdrew to pray. Perhaps he was praying for them as they rowed. Think about that for a moment. Jesus, our Lord and God and saviour, prays. We pray to him. He prays to his Father.

When we pray, we are praying not only to Jesus but with Jesus. What else are we doing with Jesus? We come to church to serve and to make sacrifices with Jesus. Jesus is not only he who was offered. Jesus is he who offers. He is both the lamb who was slain and the High Priest.

We too make offerings together with Jesus. In the Divine Liturgy we say, “thine own of thine own, we offer unto thee in behalf of all and for all. We do this in behalf of all. We supply what is lacking in their faith by offering up spiritual sacrifices for our own sins and for the ignorance of the people.

Just showing up, just participating is an expression of divine faith. We have come to walk on the water by coming here to church. Even if we do not have an ecstatic feeling of faith, even if we struggle to even know why we are here we are still working together with Jesus to save the world. Faithfulness, showing up and working hard may bring a feeling of closeness to Jesus. But it always is a closeness to Jesus, even if we do not feel it.

And Jesus supplies what is lacking (often by allowing us to struggle, since he knows that we mature in that way). Jesus is with us so that we will become one with him in his prayer and in his ministry to the world.

Tag: Matthew 14

Fasting to feed the five thousand

Praying with Jesus