Author: St. Vincent's Orthodox Church, Saskatoon

At that time, Jesus took with him Peter and James and John his brother, and led them up a high mountain apart. And he was transfigured before them, and his face shone like the sun, and his garments became white as light. And behold, there appeared to them Moses and Elijah, talking with him. And Peter said to Jesus, “Lord, it is well that we are here; if you wish, I will make three booths here, one for you and one for Moses and one for Elijah.” He was still speaking, when lo, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased; listen to him.” When the disciples heard this, they fell on their faces, and were filled with awe. But Jesus came and touched them, saying, “Rise, and have no fear.” And when they lifted up their eyes, they saw no one but Jesus only. And as they were coming down the mountain, Jesus commanded them, “Tell no one the vision, until the Son of man is raised from the dead.”

MATTHEW 17:1-9

Today we celebrate the Transfiguration of Christ on Mount Tabor. It was the will of God to make a mighty showing of the glory and majesty and divinity of Jesus to the apostles so that they would recall it later and know that Jesus suffered willingly when he died. This story is the beginning of the end of Jesus’ ministry.

A few of them walk up the mountain with Jesus and the mighty presence of God shows up. Last night we read the story from the book of Exodus. I want to read it for you again.

The Lord said to Moses: Come up to Me into the mountain, and stand there; and I will give thee the tablets of stone, the law and the commandments, which I have written to give them laws. And Moses rose up, and Jesus his attendant, and they went up into the mount of God. And to the elders they said: Rest there until we return to you; and behold, Aaron and Or are with you; if any man have a cause to be tried, let them go to them. And Moses went up to the mountain, and the cloud covered the mountain. And the glory of God came down upon Mount Sinai, and the cloud covered it six days; and the Lord called Moses on the seventh day out of the midst of the cloud. And the appearance of the glory of the Lord was as burning fire on the top of the mountain, before the sons of Israel. And Moses went into the midst of the cloud, and went up to the mountain, and was there in the mountain forty days and forty nights.

Why does the name Jesus show up in the story of Moses? It is because the name Joshua and Jesus are the same name. In Hebrew the name is Yehoshua. When you write it in Greek there is no “sh” letter. Also, all men’s names must end in S in Greek. So when the Jews translated the Hebrew bible into Greek, they represented Yehoshua with the Greek Yesous. In the Latin-speaking Western Christian world, Yesous from Greek becomes Jesus.

But when the English protestants made their English Bible they translated the Old Testament directly from Hebrew to English, and wrote “Yehoshua” as “Joshua” in English. But it’s the same name. It means “Salvation.”

What can we conclude then? First, the assistant and successor of Moses is named “Salvation” or “conqueror” or “deliverer.” Joshua the saviour and conqueror takes over after Moses and leads the people into the promised land.

In the story of the Transfiguration someone with the same name, Joshua, is taking over the work of the people of God who followed the law of Moses. Jesus/Joshua is the new leader after the law has been fulfilled, and the people of God are being led into the promised land of the Kingdom of God in the Church.

So the story of the transfiguration is a statement on behalf of the Church about who we think Jesus is.

Jesus meets with Moses on the top of a mountain, in the cloud, with the glory of God present once again. Peter thinks that this is simply a continuation of the old story of Moses on the Mountain. Moses has come back, and Elijah too. Now we can sit here on the mountain and talk with each other. Peter thinks this is a restoration of the old Israel, that it will be just like it was in the Old Testament.

But the Father speaks and tells Peter to listen to Jesus. Jesus is not just meeting with Moses and Elijah in the presence of the glory of God. Jesus is the glory of God. Now Jesus is the one who is shining.

This reveals to Peter and the others that Jesus was the glory of God all along. Jesus was the one who gave Moses the law. Jesus was the one who parted the red sea. Jesus gave Elijah the prophesies. Jesus has been the God of Israel all along. Jesus is not named after Joshua, Joshua is named after Jesus because Jesus is the real deliverer and saviour.

But we don’t even begin to understand the point of this story until we read the next bit of the gospel. What happens after they are up on the mountain? When they come down, Jesus begins to tell his disciples that he will go to Jerusalem. And in Jerusalem he will be crucified and die and rise again on the third day.

The disciples are so dismayed by the thought that Jesus will die that they do not even hear him say the second part: that he will rise from the dead. The disciples cannot imagine something good existing on the other side of death. In their minds, death is final. Death is defeat. And defeat is unthinkable for the Messiah.

The disciples rebuke Jesus and tell him to stop talking like that. Stop all this death talk. It’s morbid.

What is the glory of God that Jesus reveals on Mount Tabor? Is it the magical ability to do anything you want? Does he show the disciples that he is a magician? A genie who grants wishes?

I am always struck by the words of our Great Doxology.

Glory to thee who has shown us the light
Glory be to God on high
And on earth peace, good will towards men.
We praise thee we bless thee, we worship thee
We give thanks unto thee  for thy great glory.

Let’s stop there. “We give thanks to thee for thy great glory.” Why would we thank God for his glory? If the glory of God is his power, his ability to make the sun and moon and stars, why would we give thanks for it? It’s like thanking someone for being tall and handsome.

Why would we thank someone for that? It is an aspect of who they are that they did not create. You did not decide how you would end up looking.

If the glory of God is simply is might and power in the sense that we normally think of might and power surely there is nothing to give thanks for. He is mighty. That is just a fact about God.

But let’s keep singing the great doxology.

O Lord, heavenly King, God the Father Almighty,
O Lord the only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit.
O Lord God, Lamb of God, Son of the Father,
That takest away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.
Thou that takest away the sins of the world receive our prayer.

Now we are beginning to see what we give thanks for. Jesus takes away the sins of the world. Now it makes sense to be thankful.

The glory of God is not some unbeatable power to do powerful things like we normally think of power. The glory of God is Jesus’ willingness to die for us. To take away the sins of the world.

In the vespers stichera for Transfiguration, we read that the Father says to listen to the one who has destroyed death by his crucifixion. But this story happens before the crucifixion. The fathers who wrote the hymns understood that it is the crucified Jesus who speaks to Moses on Mount Sinai.

What is it that shines so brightly in Jesus? It is his love. It is his trust in the Father. Jesus trusts that he will rise from the dead after the crucifixion. Jesus loves us so much that he is willing to die for us. That is what shines brighter than the sun.

We are reminded of the transfiguration so that we also will decide to die to sin.

St. Peter recalled after Jesus had risen from the dead that the transfiguration proves that Jesus died willingly. Jesus has all the power in heaven and on earth and when he died it was not proof that he was defeated. When he died, it was proof that he triumphed.

St. Peter wrote about this in his letters. He wrote,

“BRETHREN, be more zealous to confirm your call and election, for if you do this you will never fall; so there will be richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Therefore I intend always to remind you of these things, though you know them and are established in the truth that you have. I think it right, as long as I am in this body, to arouse you by way of reminder”

We celebrate the Transfiguration in order to be aroused to action.

In what way are we like the disciples on the mountain? We also hear Jesus telling us about his death on the cross, and yet we do not want to hear about it. We do not even hear him when he promises us that he will rise again?

When we go to confession we are often ashamed and too timid to speak about our sins and tell the whole story. We tell the priest a few small things, in a hushed voice.

But many times we do not tell the whole story. Some people just decide not to go to confession at all. It’s too personal. We think the priest is going to judge us and get mad at us. We think the priest is going to tell us that we are bad. Maybe he won’t like me afterwards. Maybe I won’t be forgiven.

This fear is killing us. This fear is keeping us from the one thing that can actually save us. Fear is the undoing of the love of Jesus.

Confessing our sins is like dying. It is like jumping off a cliff. We face something that we fear almost more than death. We are very afraid of our own failures. This is what it means to die to sin. We are dying to sin when we openly admit the thing that is shameful and that we have tried to hide. We face sin and we decide that we accept even death. We accept even the thing we fear the most because the only thing that gives us any hope of not being the person we are ashamed of being is Jesus. Jesus is the only person who can help me to be a better person. Jesus is the only person who can help me to stop being ashamed.

The following story is from Eusebius, the first Christian Historian.

Towards the end of his life John the apostle went to live in Ephesus. From there he used to travel to the Christian communities in the surrounding districts, appointing pastors, encouraging the people, and settling disputes. One day he arrived at a certain place where he had appointed a pastor some time earlier. While he was there he met a young man, who was exceptionally handsome and strong. John spoke to the young man about the gospel of Christ, and the young man responded with great ardour of spirit. So John took him to the pastor, saying: ‘I entrust this young man to your keeping. Under your guidance may he grow in the faith and the love of Christ.’

When John had left, the pastor took the young man into his home, treating him like his own son. After some months he gave him baptism, which he declared to be the seal of faith. The pastor now allowed the young man much greater freedom. But unfortunately, the young man was not yet mature enough in the Spirit to use this freedom wisely, and he was led astray by others of his own age who were idle and dissolute.

First they took him to expensive entertainment, making him pay with his own money. Then, when his money had run out, they took him out at night and showed him how to rob money and jewellery from people’s homes. Like a powerful hard-mouthed horse, he took the bit between his teeth, galloping off the straight road and down a precipice. He directed his youthful vitality to evil, just as earlier he had directed it to righteousness.

After some time, John returned to the place where he had met the handsome young man. He said to the pastor: ‘Come now, pay me back the deposit which in Christ’s name I left in your keeping.’

At first the pastor was taken aback, thinking that he was being asked for money which he had never received. John saw his confusion and added: ‘It is the young man I am asking for.’ The pastor sighed and started to weep. ‘The young man is dead,’ he said.

‘How did he die?’ John asked.

‘I mean he is dead to the world,’ the pastor said, and related what had occurred.

John immediately went off to the place in the hills where the young man and his evil friends were living. When he arrived, the men seized him. John made no attempt to escape and asked no mercy.

‘I demand to see the young man whom you have led astray,’ John cried out.

The young man heard the commotion and came to see what was happening. As soon as the young man saw John, he was filled with shame, and he started to run away. With a sudden burst of strength John broke free of his captors, and, forgetting his age, ran after the young man. As he ran, John shouted out: ‘Why do you run away from me, my child? I am your father; I am old and frail. Be sorry for me, not frightened of me. You still have your whole life ahead of you. Soon I shall die, and I will intercede for you with Christ.’

The young man, who had lapsed into evil ways, heard the apostle John begging him to stop. As John referred to himself as the young man’s father, tears welled up in his youthful eyes, and his legs began to tremble.

Finally his legs could run no further, and he fell to the ground. John caught up with him, panting at the exertion of running so far. As soon as he had regained his breath, John knelt down and clasped the young man to his bosom. At first John could not speak, but only weep; and he baptized the young man a second time with his tears. The young man also wept, and John knew that those were tears of repentance.

John took the young man’s right hand into his own, and placed it over his heart. ‘I solemnly pledge’, John said, ‘that I will not rest until I have gained pardon for this young man from the Saviour himself.’ John then let go the young man, and began to pray. After a few short minutes John smiled broadly, knowing that Christ had gladly forgiven the young man, and was ready to welcome him back into his fold. So John led the young man back to the town. And there the pastor who had baptized the young man welcomed him with open arms.

I invite you to come stand on the mountain with Jesus and to see his glory. Come see the glory of Jesus when you confess your sins. Not as a way of ascribing guilt to yourself, but as a way of articulating what it is that you need help with.

What is standing between you and your calling to be conformed to the image of God? What weakness do you have that you need help with? What is it that you can’t stop doing even though you want to? The glory of God is revealed when you and I allow the love of Jesus to win over the fear that we have by listening to the promise that Jesus loves us and will forgive us and heal us. When we give up the fear that we hold on to tightly like a blanket we find freedom and joy.

Lord Jesus Christ, our God, we are not worthy that you should come to enter under the roof of our bodies, we are not worthy to receive your body and blood in the Eucharist today. We are ashamed and heartbroken because we do not know how to be holy as you are holy. Please heal us by your forgiveness and your love today and make us worthy even though we are unworthy. Make us worthy to leave fear behind. Help us to renew our dedication to love and to serve others as you did, and to partake of your death so that we might live with you forever. Heal our fear and give us boldness to love you and to be your children.

2 TIMOTHY 2:1-10

Timothy, my son, be empowered in the grace that is in Christ Jesus, and what you have heard from me before many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No soldier who has been deployed gets entangled in the practical concerns of life, since his aim is to satisfy his commanding officer, the one who enlisted him. An athlete is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules. It is the hardworking farmer who receives the first fruits. Think over what I say, for the Lord will grant you understanding in everything. Remember Jesus Christ, risen from the dead, descended from David, as preached in my gospel, the gospel for which I am suffering and wearing fetters like a criminal. But the word of God is not fettered. Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain salvation in Christ Jesus with its eternal glory.

JOHN 15:17-27; 16:1-2

The Lord said to his disciples: “This I command you, to love one another. If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will persecute you; if they kept my word, they will keep yours also. But all this they will do to you on my account, because they do not know him who sent me. If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not have sin; but now they have no excuse for their sin. He who hates me hates my Father also. If I had not done among them the works which no one else did, they would not have sin; but now they have seen and hated both me and my Father. It is to fulfill the word that is written in their law, ‘They hated me without a cause.’ But when the Counselor comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, even the Spirit of truth, who proceeds from the Father, he will bear witness to me; and you also are witnesses, because you have been with me from the beginning. I have said all this to you to keep you from falling away. They will put you out of the synagogues; indeed, the hour is coming when whoever kills you will think he is offering service to God.

Both of these readings talk about persecution. The problem of persecution is two-fold. We need to be able to feel confidence in our ability to embody the roles we have been given in life. I want to be a good person, a good husband, a good father. And I am failing. We need and want to be accepted by others and belong in society.

Imagine that some people are playing a game where you have to draw a picture or an object and the other people in the game have to guess what you’re drawing. One person is drawing and drawing but no one can guess what it is. Finally, he bursts out, “can’t you see it’s the Eiffel tower!!!” Everyone else starts laughing. They don’t think it looks anything like the Eiffel tower.

Then someone takes out their cell phone and googles a picture of the Eiffel tower. And they put them side by side. The guy who was drawing the picture is a bit embarrassed. He has to admit that what he drew doesn’t look like the Eiffel tower at all when you see them side by side.

Jesus Christ is the original picture of what a human being is and can be. Jesus is the image of the invisible Father. And if you hold Jesus up beside the sullied reality of our sinful human lives, the difference is devastating. In one sense you can tell that they’re supposed to be the same, but that just makes it all the more tragic that the one is so far from the other.

When we look at Jesus his love is obviously different from our own choices. We are not like Jesus. We do not love our enemies. We do not bless those who curse us.

When someone who is close to me says words that hurt me and infuriate me I can hear the gentle whisper of the Holy Spirit in my ear saying, “forgive, have compassion on that person, they are suffering too, look for a way to love them.”

My conscience paints an image of Christ for me by nudging me towards choices which are Christ-like. But I am indignant at that image of Christ in my conscience. If I forgive, if I have compassion, then I have to give up the lie that says the true happiness is when I am all-powerful and make people fear me. I have to give up feeling superior to the person who has hurt me. I have to give up on the notion that every time my feelings get hurt it is because the person who hurt them is evil, and I have to consider whether my tendency to be easily offended is due to my own pride. I have to give up the prideful belief that I should never be challenged or questioned.

There is so much I have to give up in order to hear the words of Christ. It is easier to bite back and try to silence the person who has ruffled my feathers. It is easier to lash out at the truth and to hold on to my lies like a teddy bear.

When we stifle the voice of the Holy Spirit in us we put ourselves on the side of the persecutors instead of standing on the side of the martyrs. We may initially lash out and try to silence the truth of that disparity deep down we really want to be like Jesus. We lash out because of our shame and guilt and grieving over our inability to become like Jesus on our own. That is one of the problems of persecution. We are the persecutors. We persecute because of our shame and guilt.

The other problem of persecution is that we suffer persecution. Perhaps you have never thought of yourself as being persecuted. The most insidious and dangerous persecutions are not life-threatening. Very few of us will be eaten by lions or tortured like in the stories of the martyrs. We may very well be looked at as pathetic, pitiable people because we are Christians. Our neighbors and co-workers and our kids’ friends’ parents might look at us as something in the grey zone between awkward and dangerous because we admit to being Christians in this day and age. People in our circle of friends and acquaintances publicly shame Christians for their beliefs. Instead of killing us they imply that we are unfit parents or maladjusted or damaged people who should be pitied.

The pain we feel, even as adults, is the pain of the kid who was excluded. The one who got picked last for the teams on the playground. The kid who wasn’t invited to the party. That is the pain we continue to feel as adults. It is real social pain and anxiety. Jesus knows that it hurts to be rejected for our faith.

The temptation is to hide our faith in order to get approval. We begin an internal dialogue asking whether Jesus Christ is worth all this trouble. We begin to negotiate. Is it absolutely necessary to maintain these opinions that non-Christians find so backwards and offensive? Or perhaps our negotiation is one where we say, “is it absolutely necessary to love those who sin? Can’t I prove my love for Jesus by judging and hating non-Christians? Can’t suspicion and conspiracy theory count as equally valid expressions of Christianity as love and humility? I want Jesus I just don’t want to have to live with ambiguity and consider myself to be the brother and equal of my persecutors.”

Another person negotiates by saying, “Is it absolutely necessary that our church has a sober form of worship that is consistent with the worship that has been expressed through the centuries? Why can’t we just change the rules and update them? Why can’t we just make our worship a bit more fun and entertaining. Why can’t we struggle out of the straitjacket of a Christian faith that earns us the contempt and suspicion of our peers?”

One of our internal voices is begging to be set free from the image of Christ because of what discipleship costs. And the other internal voice is longing and starving to be conformed to the image of Christ. This second internal voice knows that I am failing my family and my friends and my coworkers by being a selfish and heartless person. I am failing at being the person who deserves the respect and admiration that I desire, and I cannot silence the voice of my own estimation of my behaviour. I cannot silence the conscience that tells me that I am hurting others with my prideful behaviour. I know that I need to be made to be like Jesus in order to be the man I need to be. But the price of doing that is that many other people will see me as a failure and as an undesirable person. And the price of following Jesus is that I have to be humble and acknowledge my failures.

How am I going to choose to follow Jesus? The price is so high.

Our neighbors and friends and colleagues look at your Christian life and are secretly jealous. Jesus welcomes the little children into his arms. Jesus defends the poor and the widows and proclaims comfort to the oppressed. Jesus proclaims forgiveness when no one else would even consider forgiveness. Jesus helps people who are doing evil things to become kind and generous.

In the same way that you look at the love of Jesus and deep down you desire to be like him in your own life, so do the people who persecute you. The people who treat you with a combination of suspicion and pity are also starving and thirsty for meaning in their lives. They look happy and they look like they belong and fit in. But inside every sinner is like the prodigal son who longs to return to his father and be at home.

When a Christian takes an honest look at her own inner longing to be filled with the love of Jesus, she discovers the one and only thing that can ever create a community. The only thing that can bring us friendship and peer approval and acceptance is our shared need for Jesus. As Christians we have what the world badly needs and wants.

People want to behave honourably and to be good spouses and good parents and good friends. People want to be ethical, upstanding and admirable. People want to make good responsible choices. People want to spend time with their children and prioritize their families but they don’t know how to find the motivation to do it. People do not want to be enslaved to material possessions and money and work. People understand that one day they will die, and they have no idea how to make the time before death meaningful, or how to overcome the fear and anxiety and dread they feel regarding death. And we have the answers because we know Jesus.

Similarly, Christians in general do not want to be enslaved to entertainment that claims to be religion. Christians do not want to be lost in an ocean of false prophets who each claim to have the full truth. Christians do not want to have the feeling of emptiness that comes from reducing discipleship to a set of opinions and arguments. But that is what the predominant form of Christianity in our culture gives them. They become homeless and isolated and disconnected from a tradition and a larger Christian community than their local group. They badly want and need what we have to offer here. While their churches may seem more hip and more fun, in the end their interpretation of Christianity is disconnected from the substance of the faith which is sober love, repentance from sins, and the humility that is expressed in listening to our elders in Christ.

In our epistle reading there are two short sentences that tell us so much about why we would be willing to pay the price of remaining as followers of Jesus Christ. First, St. Paul says, “An athlete is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules.” What does that mean?

The word for crown is Stephanos. It’s the name of Stephen the first martyr. What St. Paul means is that a Christian is not martyred or persecuted unless he is “competing according to the rules.” Unless you are doing something right you will not be persecuted. Persecution is actually proof that you are doing something right. When society tells us that we are uptight repressed backwards overly conservative people because we follow Jesus it is because we are doing what is right.

The next thing St. Paul writes is, “It is the hardworking farmer who receives the first fruits.” The farmer is God who planted the seed of the Word in us. And the first-fruits are the sacrifices we make, offering them to the Father in Christ. God is the one who created us and called us to be who we need to be. He is the one who defines what it means to be an acceptable and admirable and normal person. And he is the only one who can complete the work of making us holy.

Read the gospels. This is a great spiritual practice. Just read them. Remind yourself over and over who Jesus is and why you need him. With a clear vision of who you need to be you will also receive the confidence to remember that everyone in the whole world longs for the same thing. When the world lashes out at us for following Jesus we see ourselves not as the kid who wasn’t included in the games on the playground but as the parents who know that children misbehave because they are confused and hurt. We look at our peers and say, “these people feel lost and empty and I can be the one who walks beside them.”

When we remember who Jesus is we feel confidence in following him and inviting others to do the same. When you feel doubts and estrangement from the church or from your Christian calling, go back and read the words of Jesus to remember who you are.

Jesus, grant us to see you more fully in the never-ending day of your Kingdom.

At that time, one of the Pharisees asked Jesus to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee’s house, and took his place at table. And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was at table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment, and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment. Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw it, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner.” And Jesus answering said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he answered, “What is it, Teacher?” “A certain creditor had two debtors; one owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he forgave them both. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, to whom he forgave more.” And he said to him, “You have judged rightly.” Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house, you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.” And he said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” Then those who were at table with him began to say among themselves, “Who is this, who even forgives sins?” And he said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

One day after the weekly synagogue service a rich Pharisee invited all the teachers who had been in the synagogue over for lunch. Jesus was one of them, but he was not the guest of honor. He was invited more out of obligation to include everyone and not because he was wanted there.

They had a practice of putting the most important guests at the head of the table next to the host, and then the farther you were away from the host the less important and welcome you were.

I have experienced this myself. A whole group is collectively invited, but I knew from the moment I entered the house that I was resented for being there. But the host didn’t quite have the gumption to tell me I wasn’t welcome. Not outright.

I remember ending up at a summer gathering in Sweden where everyone brought their own snacks and drinks. And I asked the host for a glass to pour my drink into so I could share it with my daughter. And the host just told me straight up no. I was a guest in his yard but no, I couldn’t use one of his glasses. No apology. No explanation. Just no.

This is a way of telling someone that while they may have slipped in on a group invitation they are not really considered a real guest.

Jesus was such a guest in this gospel passage.

This is what condescension means. This is the incarnation. Not glorious but humble, or even humiliating. This is self-emptying, kenosis. When you think of the incarnation, think of this.

Jesus told Simon, “you gave me no water for my feet.”

In the ancient world, not giving people water for their feet was like not letting someone take off their coat when they come in during the winter in Canada, or not giving them a chair to sit on at dinner. You ALWAYS washed your feet when you came inside. The streets were places full of camel dung and filth. It was very unhygienic not to wash your feet. It was outrageous to not offer someone water to wash their feet.

Jesus was at the back of the room crowding together with a bunch of other people who were technically allowed inside but who were not really guests.

Jesus said to Simon, “you gave me no kiss when I entered.”

Again, this is the equivalent of not speaking to someone, or refusing to shake their hand. You could not express a more clear and unambiguous insult to a guest than to not kiss them when they arrived, in that culture.

Jesus said to Simon, “You did not anoint my head with oil.”

That would be like going to someone’s house and you ask where the washroom is and they tell you there is none. I mean, in that case it’s probably a lie, but basically the insult of not offering someone oil for their hair was similar. We don’t put much oil in our hair these days so it’s hard to imagine why this would be done at all, and then it’s hard to understand why it was an insult.

Ok so Jesus is this unwelcome guest crowding at the back of the room with the other unimportant and unwanted people, while the popular and important people are at the front of the room resenting the presence of the people at the back of the room.

Now a prostitute pushes her way inside and makes this ridiculously lavish display of affection to Jesus. It’s over the top and embarrassing and almost grotesque.

She starts to wipe his feet with her hair. Unveiling her hair in public like that was like going around with very revealing clothes or something. It was way too personal. In those days women kept their hair covered until they were alone with their husbands in their bedroom. This was shocking.

And then to take the thing that is on the top of your body, and touch it to something that is at the bottom of another person’s body, was also grotesque and odd and completely against all the rules.

The reason they washed their feet in that day was that there was donkey dung and camel dung out in the streets, and all kinds of other things, all on a muddy street, festering in the puddles. People’s feet were filthy when they came off the streets, and they needed to wash that filth off in order to be hygienic. Now she’s wiping his feet with her hair. And crying.

No one said she was crying quietly or discreetly. This was not discreet. She was wailing and making a scene.

Everyone froze like a deer in the headlights. They were cringing and thinking, “someone stop her now. Please, please make her stop!

Jesus knew what was going through their minds, and you didn’t need to be able to read people’s minds and know what is in their hearts to see what they were thinking.

If you had been there you would know what they were thinking too.

“How did she get in here? Why is she so familiar with Jesus? Perhaps he knows this lady from a previous encounter which he shouldn’t have had.”

Jesus had every reason to be horrified that she is implying to the whole crowd that they are friends.

“How holy is this holy teacher, Jesus, if he is so familiar with the prostitute.”

And Jesus takes the opportunity to tell the host (so that everyone else could hear it too), “Simon, you have treated me like riffraff since I got here. You did it because you don’t want to know that you also have sins that need to be forgiven. Maybe she owes five hundred, but you also owe fifty.”

You don’t want to know about the Kingdom of God in which what counts as righteousness is love and compassion and humility because, you have none of those things. You can’t accept forgiveness because it would cost you and you would have to learn how much you have in common with sinners.”

Finding out that we have shortcomings is unpleasant and doesn’t feel like we are being loved.

I am intrigued by the fact that people balked when Jesus said to the woman that her sins were forgiven. “Who are you to forgive sins? Surely only God can do that. What kind of arrogance. You can’t even get a good seat at the party, how can you be the arbiter of who is forgiven and who is not???”

Why did they balk at the notion of Jesus forgiving sins?

Because they were jealous. Being forgive of their sins was the one thing they were secretly longing for and believed could never happen. Legalistic people don’t think it’s possible that they can be loved. People who judge are judging because they are afraid that God cannot love them like a father.

People who get easily offended and dismayed when something doesn’t go the way they expected: they do this because they are terrified that if everything is not in perfect order that their heavenly father will not want them and will not embrace them and will not accept their efforts as good enough.

“How dare you tell that lady who is not even trying to do things the right way that she is good enough!!!” That indignation is born out of a heartbreaking sadness and desperation.

But the desperation of these righteous men is twofold. They want to be loved. But if they let down their guard it will cost them their pride. They want their pride and they want the love of their heavenly father. And they can’t have both and they can’t choose.

Jesus says to the people at the head of the table, “is life at the head table really all that great? Are you really living the high life? You guys treat each other with just as much cruelty and contempt as you treat me, it’s just that you’re obligated to give each other outward courtesies. You have no community and no communion.”

The life of the person who is petty and legalistic is a cold existence. When we are stuck in that place of ambivalence between our pride and our need for God’s love, we are ambivalent about whether or not to make an offering, a sacrifice, of repentance to God. Can I make a worthy offering? Will it work?

Jesus died on the cross as a sacrifice so that you could join his sacrifice. You have the  proof that it worked because he rose from the dead.

Today, Jesus says that the love of the father is so lavish that he can forgive even this sinner. So surely the Father loves you too.

When Jesus allows us to see how we are failing, that is an act of love. He allowed the sinner to repent publicly as an example to show everyone where true life is.

Just think how liberating it is not to hold in the tears. How freeing would it be for you to pour out your love so freely as that woman did before Jesus? How free would you feel if you could embrace the feet of Jesus?

The promise of forgiveness emboldens us to rediscover the love of our heavenly father as we rediscover that we stand among many other children that the father loves equally.

The love of the father is discovered by those who stand shoulder to shoulder, in solidarity, in commonality, not being better than or above or beyond, but with and beside and closely interconnected with all the other children of the father.

Unless this sinner here is your sister you will never know the love of your father. May the love of Jesus fill you with courage to join the lady who is wiping his feet with her hair.

MATTHEW 9:36-38; 10:1-8

At that time, when Jesus saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; pray therefore the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest. And he called to him his twelve disciples and gave them authority over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal every disease and every infirmity. The names of the twelve apostles are these: first, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother; James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother; Philip and Bartholomew; Thomas and Matthew the tax collector; James the son of Alphaios, and Lebbaeos called Thaddaios; Simon the Cananaean, and Judas Iscariot, who betrayed him. These twelve Jesus sent out, charging them, “Go nowhere among the Gentiles, and enter no town of the Samaritans, but go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. And preach as you go, saying, ‘The kingdom of heaven is at hand.’ Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, cast out demons. You received without paying, give without pay.

In today’s gospel Jesus sends the Apostles out to do miracles; to raise the dead, heal the sick, cast out demons. And the saint we remember today, St. Alban, saw the waters of a river miraculously part when he was on his way to die as a martyr. That which is holy and that which manifests divine power is given to us to exhort us, to cause us to become martyrs.

During vespers, the priest prays silently, “Visit us with goodness and grant that through the remainder of this present day, by thy grace, we may avoid the diverse snares of the evil one.” And elsewhere, “Grant us a part and an inheritance with all those who fear thee in truth and keep thy commandments.”

Martyr is the Greek word for witness. A martyr bears witness to the truth of Jesus Christ, of the hope that we have in him. As martyrs we bear witness to the power of love and the possibility of holiness.

The opposite of bearing witness to the truth, the opposite of martyrdom, is telling lies. For example, we might tell ourselves the lie that I am giving my advice or lodging my complaints not as a manifestation of my pride or judgment, but because of pure, unsullied love and concern for others. Or perhaps I tell myself the lie that I need the newer car. I don’t want to spend money on it, but I need it.

We can also allow lies to steel the freedom we have in Jesus. We can listen to the lies that ell us that “you’re not good enough, you’re not as holy as that other person.” Or perhaps we buy into the lie that says, “you will never be saved, Jesus will be disappointed in you.” Or yet again, the lie that says that ultimate truth is a set of facts, not the potential and promise of deification.

Truth is not what we see in people when they disappoint us, nor what we see in ourselves when we have fallen short. Truth is the proclaimed in the commandments of God because they paint a picture of our possibilities. Truth is Jesus dying on the cross, as a picture of a man fully alive. We often resist that truth because of how much it threatens the self-serving lies we have invested in. Why do I hate the commandments so much? Because if they are from God, then much of my constructed alternate-world will crumble as meaningless lies. Why do I resent the community of the commandments? Because if I learn the truth that the church teaches, I will no longer be able to be yoked as a partner and comrade with people who have bought into the lies. The truth is a crisis.

Martyrdom is walking in the truth. The truth is that I am a sinner and only dying with Jesus can help me. The truth is that Jesus loves me and can change me, supplying what I lack.

Today we remember the martyr Alban and the Executioner who died with him. Alban was a Roman citizen living in Britain. He agreed to hide a Christian priest from the authorities, and became converted to the Christian faith. When the priest Amphibalus needed to flee, Alban agreed to exchange clothes with him so that Amphibalus could escape without his clothes giving him away. This was a prophetic action because, while Alban may not have realized it, he was taking on the priesthood of Christ who says, “Greater love has no man than to lay his life down for his brother.” Alban became a priest, in a spiritual sense, because the executioner who was going to kill him, saw his faith and confessed Christ. That executioner (whose name we do not know) was led by Alban to a baptism in blood.

These witnesses prove to us what it is that we should fear and what we should not fear. We have no reason to fear politics, conspiracies, or some grand narrative of the leaders of the world. What is terrifying is that which could come between us and our calling to be holy, and to shine with the light of Jesus. We do not need to fear the thousand small pricks to our pride and which are given to us every day by the people who are closest to us. We should instead beware not to fail to love those same people and serve them.

As St. Alban was led to his death, an angry mob blocked the bridge he needed to cross. Instead, God parted the waters and they walked through. If there is a river and a blood-thirsty mob between you and your calling to holiness, God will part the waters. Let us step forward and believe in the truth of Jesus Christ’s possibilities for us, in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, one God. Amen.  

John 9:39–10:9

 “Jesus said, “For judgment I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind.”

Some Pharisees who were with him heard him say this and asked, “What? Are we blind too?”

Jesus said, “If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remains.

“Very truly I tell you Pharisees, anyone who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.”

Jesus used this figure of speech, but the Pharisees did not understand what he was telling them.

Therefore, Jesus said again, “Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture.”

Today on the feast of Sts. Constantine and Helen we celebrate the joy of conversion. When we bless the pre-sanctified lamb, during lent, we remember that because of Jesus’ death, “sacrifice to idols has ceased.” In the case of the conversion of St. Constantine, the persecution of the Christians also ceased, and eventually the whole Roman Empire became Christian.

The joy of conversion is not just for converts, and not just at the point of conversion. The life of Christ is a continual conversion. We are continually re-baptized in the tears of repentance. The single moment of conversion is but a single moment of joy, and should not be represented as any kind of fulfillment. At my own conversion, when I was chrismated, the priest told me that the battle had just begun. Now comes all the work.

Orthodox Christians have been tempted to see the conversion of Constantine as a kind of fulfillment of the Kingdom on earth, a kind of Millennialism still survives, curiously, even though the Byzantine Empire which was supposed to be identical to the Kingdom of God does not survive. Has the Kingdom of God ceased at the fall of Constantinople? Of course not. Because they were not identical.

Jesus said, in today’s gospel reading, “I am the gate.” The good news of the conversion of Constantine is that he found Christianity and was given the mercy of joining the church, not that Christianity found Constantine and was given the mercy of receiving him.

If you are looking for a way to see the will of God and the mighty acts of God do not look for political signs. You will not see God if you look for conspiracies, political parties, or big cosmic narratives. You will not see the divine perspective on the world by turning on your TV or computer but by turning them off.

The work of God is, rather, seen on the road to Damascus. Listen to today’s epistle:

Acts 26:1-5, 12-20

“Then Agrippa said to Paul, “You have permission to speak for yourself.”

So Paul motioned with his hand and began his defense: “King Agrippa, I consider myself fortunate to stand before you today as I make my defense against all the accusations of the Jews, and especially so because you are well acquainted with all the Jewish customs and controversies. Therefore, I beg you to listen to me patiently.   “The Jewish people all know the way I have lived ever since I was a child, from the beginning of my life in my own country, and also in Jerusalem. They have known me for a long time and can testify, if they are willing, that I conformed to the strictest sect of our religion, living as a Pharisee.  “On one of these journeys I was going to Damascus with the authority and commission of the chief priests. About noon, King Agrippa, as I was on the road, I saw a light from heaven, brighter than the sun, blazing around me and my companions. We all fell to the ground, and I heard a voice saying to me in Aramaic, ‘Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.’

“Then I asked, ‘Who are you, Lord?’

“‘I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,’ the Lord replied. ‘Now get up and stand on your feet. I have appeared to you to appoint you as a servant and as a witness of what you have seen and will see of me. I will rescue you from your own people and from the Gentiles. I am sending you to them to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.’

“So then, King Agrippa, I was not disobedient to the vision from heaven. First to those in Damascus, then to those in Jerusalem and in all Judea, and then to the Gentiles, I preached that they should repent and turn to God and demonstrate their repentance by their deeds.”

When Jesus comes with great power, he changes the heart of one person at a time. And that is the miracle which is celebrated today on the feast of Sts. Constantine and Helen. That is the mighty act of God: repentance and obedience. The glory of God is a man fully alive.

The Divine Liturgy is your personal road to Damascus experience, which empowers you to be conformed to the image of Christ. Come to the Divine Liturgy to see what God is doing.